Shades of Gray

I thought I’d be clever

When naming my blog

50 Shades was trending

With its wanking and snogs

I know it’s not porno

This little blog of mine

But it can get racey

When I’m into my wine

So when a day does come

That I can spend all in Gray

I feel I must share it

In my own special way

So I hope you enjoy it

These little snappy spurts

50 Shades of Gray(tone)

Trust me…it won’t hurt

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One Word Photo Challenge: Winter

One Word Photo Challenge: Winter

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Night time cherry tree – Massachusetts

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Ice flow off the mountain – Vermont

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Blue spruce – Vermont

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Turkey gathering – Vermont

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Turkey tree – Vermont

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Late afternoon snowfall – Vermont

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Rare snow event – Virginia

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Ice fishing – Vermont

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Lake Willoughby – Vermont

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Frozen berries – Massachusetts

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The final descent – Vermont

King of the Mountain - Alaska

King of the Mountain – Alaska

I guess you could say I love winter and I’m glad it’s almost here

Cheers ūüôā

Careful what you wish for…

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Careful.”

I hope those who read my blog, take the time to click the link above and view some of the entries for these weekly challenges. ¬†They are well worth it and the fun is seeing someone else’s¬†take on the theme of the week. And the bonus is – some are astonishingly good! ¬†Just a thought ¬†ūüôā

Anyway, I try to go with the first thought that comes into my head when I get see what the theme is, and this week is no exception.

When I saw the word “careful”, I felt the words “what you wish for”.

So..I gathered some photos of things that I¬†often times wish for but more often than not, wish I¬†hadn’t.

Let’s see if you agree…

How about when:

You wish for the un-decorated¬†end of fall to become the clean and pure snow white of winter…does this wish become UN-wished by January?

Be careful what you wish for.

November Unadorned

November Un-Adorned

December Purity

December Purity

January Captured

January Captured

Or when his ultimate wish for that first ride on the big boy tractor, then becomes…nah, been there done that, no thanks?

Be careful what you wish for.

Daddy and Me

Daddy and Me, Yay!

Are you sure Daddy?

I think I changed my mind Dad!

I think I don't want to Daddy

That’s okay, I’m done now Dad

Let. Me. Off. Now. Daddy!

Let. Me. Off. Now. Daddy!

Have you ever wished for a little rain and been granted that wish one hundred¬†fold? To the point where you start singing “Rain Rain Go Away?” (you hummin” it? ¬†lol)

Be careful what you wish for.

Cascading rain gets your feet wet!

Cascading rain gets your feet wet!

We did wish for it...

We did wish for it…

We did need it...

We did need it…

But ENOUGH already! My hometown of Northfield, VT in 2011, courtesy of Irene's rain :(

But ENOUGH already!
My hometown of Northfield, VT in 2011, courtesy of Irene’s rain ūüė¶

So, there you have it
We make wishes every single day
It’s just sometimes
Be Careful What You Wish For!

How to Train Your Weatherman

I walked to the window

Looking for rain

Only to find there was none

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So what did I see

Instead, on the ground and the trees

But three inches of white, and then some

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It heartens me though

To I know what I know

Which is, the government is not the only

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High paying gig

Where none give a fig

If they get it right, they’re just phonies

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Weathermen, you see

Could squirt shit when they sneeze

Then turn ’round and call it¬†baloney

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So, like with our po-li-ti-cos

That’s just how it goes

They feed us baloney shit sammies

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 But next time, I think

When that breeze starts to stink

I’ll send a pic of a dick being slammied!

you would not! would you?

¬†Today’s forecast: ¬†Squashed Dick, and Tortured Balls
Tonight’s forecast:¬†Periods of Pain and Nausea

Tomorrow’s forecast: ¬†Well now, that depends. ¬†Doesn’t it?

12 Days of Christmas (2 days late)

(Yes, you have to sing it!)

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me

A bill that was way oh-ver due

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Two fucking chances

To eh-splain why the bill was oh-ver due

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Three dirty looks

Two fucking chances

To eh-splain why that bill was oh-ver due

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love said to me

“Four¬†bill collectors

Three rotten voice mails

Two fu-cking chances

Now eh-splain about that fri-hi-ggin bill”

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love went to work

Missing fiiiiiiiiiiiiive of his teeeeeeeeeeth

Fo-hor missing buttons

Three rips and tears

Two-hooo franctured toes

And a mouth full of oh-ver due bill

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love asked of me

Please call the dentist

Foooor my mis-sing teeeeeth

“Fo-hor days ago

I lost my mind

Please do not kill me

And from now on you ge-he-het the mail”

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love brought to me

Seven wrapped up presents

Six pounds of chocolate

Fiiiiiiiiiiive din-ner coupons

Fo-hor smelly candles

Three movie tickets

Two-hoo spa-ah days

And a day for our dog at Pup’s R Us

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love asked of me

Please stop obsessing

Let me say “I’m sorry”

We can have a re-do

IIIIIIIIIIIII was a shiiiiit

I promise not to question

What you do or don’t do

Because I don’t know shit

When it comes to making it ah-all work

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love hid from me

Fear of what would happen

D’nial that was his mantra

Refusal to believe that

The fact his Mother was right

His wiiiiiiife wazzzz such a biiiiiiiiiiiitch

Oh-ho-ho who does care

That he had invested

More than you may know

And that his partridge left long-ong-ong-ago

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love said to me

1 thru 9 are awesome

10 thru 12 are missing

This is so distracting

I only wanted quiet

Is that too much to ask for

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive Golden Rules

Fo-hor pleading men

Three spanish prayers

Two birds in a bush

And I won’t tell the partridge¬†he is di-hi-hi-in-er

No I won’t tell the¬†bird that he is toast

Porch Poet


P inkish hues of spider’s silk
O ranges, yellows, whites like milk
R eds and greens in varying tints
C apture the sun’s rays as¬†they glint
H ere on the mums, there on a wing
P rompting retreat to shade covered things
O ppressive, this air you can cut with a knife
E ven the bird, like dragon, still life
T oday’s one for dwelling, musing, no movement
S o hoping tomorrow will bring some improvement

Laboriously Laboring and Languidly Lingering this Loathingly Liquid Labor Day

Labor Day.

The last holiday before the official end of summer.

And this is a steamy one for sure.

Humidity levels are through the roof so¬†if you venture into the sun, you’ll braise…not¬†bake¬† ūüôĄ

It is a day to celebrate the working person.

A day to ‘not’ work [as long as you don’t work in retail, then it’s a day to go Christmas shopping].

I know, right?

Anyway, since I don’t work outside the home, it is just another laundry day, with the added bonus of baking turtle brownies. (turtle brownies:¬† nuts and caramel in the brownies, um yeah mama)

Baking?  Today?  In this heat?

Ummm, my indoor thermostat says 68, and as he knows me well…he knows that should his¬†digits read below 68,¬†I shall haul off and punch him in the face!

So yeah, it’s a baking day¬† ūüôā

brownies

As happens in the summer, more bloggers are out living life rather than inside writing about it, hence, less blogging more jogging. At least it seems so to me.

And while I wasn’t out there jogging (God forbid!) I was ‘out there’.

So Labor Day does tend to remind me that it’s time to come in once in a while and ease back into the fall yarns (get it?) so when winter comes, I’ll be knitting stories with the best of ya!

I don’t have any particular “What I did on my summer vacation” tales to weave, but I do have a snap or two that do paint (crafty eh?) a pretty picture of some of the fun we had.

Like…the time Matty spent back in the lower 48. Three weeks of sun and disc golf and beachin and boozin (ahem) and cousins and Grandfolks and…well, you get the idea

For myself…most of my time was spent in the same places as the boys…I just had my hands on something other than a beer bottle.

[Ah shit, that’s a lie. I had one hand on a bottle and the other on the camera.]

Okay? Geesh! Can’t get away with crap around here!

So my time was spent catching mountains and moonlight; a that bud for you…

…then rivers, lakes, and lilly pads;¬†roads and bridges too.

I had a couple days where the pickens were slim; a tree and some deer, and an old car pullin in. A whirlygiggly butterfly and dead people’s ground; a downpour and a pond sign for an absconded pond.

But you all know what I’m like, always a barn or two; then Supe with his sidekick, and a damsel lunching, eew eew…

This is a glimpse of what I’ve been laboring with. And if I do say…
Life is Good!

Hope you all had an enjoyable, relaxing, family and fun filled summer.
I look forward to seeing more regular attendance now that Blog U is back in session.

ūüôā R

‘Tis the Season

And so it begins

The Season

Visitors

Week Long

Visitors

Mother-In-Law plus 1

Visitors

Oh Goody

32 years as a Daughter-In-Law

10 years of hoping

(I’d disappear?)

Almost…(Once)

But not quite

Another 21 of tolerating me

1 year of resignation

What next?

Will I finally pass muster?

This week may tell

I leave you with this…

bunny hell easter

Just kidding

In all fairness, it’s more like this…

reefer mad

Oh alright, it’s not THAT bad

They are just house guests after all

Right?

What’s the worst that could happen?

padded_room

Oh

See ya next week

Maybe

ps) Kat…hope you don’t mind my stealing two of your gifs

pss) B…if you still read this blog, laugh now.

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Now, I hope you all know me enough by now to know that I am picking fun here.  My Mother-In-Law is a strong, intelligent, sensitive woman and we get along famously.  It just took us some time to find our own relationship, as it did my husband and his Mother-In-Law.  There is love and there is respect and that is all there needs to be.

It’s important to let the seeds of this relationship grow naturally, organically, outside that of the¬†child/spouse connection.

There is nothing in the rules of marriage handbook (and I’m sure there is one out there, somewhere) that says you have to¬†love or even be friends with your spouse’s mother.

It helps, but it’s also okay if not.

(I don’t know why, but Fathers-In-Law relationships do NOT have the same dynamic)

Love doesn’t happen¬†just because she birthed your spouse nor for the fact that you happened to choose¬†her child as a life mate.

That just opens the door.  To be welcomed in and invited to take up space in their hearts, you must be worthy in your own right.

If there’s any hope for a relationship, there has¬†to be respect.¬† On both sides.¬† And, because¬†you’ve both earned it.

Respect is one of those things we each feel we deserve.

Just because.

Not so.

As with any relationship in life, whether personal or professional, we can respect the title/position, but the person in it, must earn it.

Also, as we cannot choose our blood relations, we do our best to love them because of our common link, but we often find ourselves in the position of not respecting them for various reasons.

Love¬†but don’t¬†respect – common in relationships to those we are born into.

But for those to whom we have no connection other than by proxy via our spouse, if we do not/cannot develop a familial love, we can at the least hope to develop a relationship based on mutual respect.

If not (especially if your spouse is close to your In-Law) then personally, I’d say your marriage has a boot on its neck.

Especially evident when you and your spouse have kids of your own…

Becoming a Mother-In-Law can be daunting if the relationship with the new son/daughter lacks respect as well as the love connection.

Could you imagine becoming a grandparent to the little seed of your precious apple in a relationship fraught with tension and stress because either you or your In-Law or your spouse were always on the defensive?

Nahhhh…that’s for the birds and a bit like cutting off your limb to spite your trunk, if you know what I mean.

So, this Mother’s Day, it is with high hopes that all the wives and husbands who share porch space with me here, boast a happy, healthy,¬†loving relationship with your respective Mothers-In-Law.¬†¬†If not, I sincerely hope you share one of mutual respect.

If not yet, work on it.¬† It’ll make all the difference in the world…to ALL of you.

If you’re a newbie, or a work in progress, keep at it.

The door opened the day you got married…it’s up to you to be welcomed inside.

Conversely…to all the Mothers-In-Law out there still struggling with the addition to the family…

It is with¬†respect I say this…

“They are married.

You didn’t lose one, you gained one.

You did your job, now enjoy the fruits of your labor while they make fruits of their own.

Resist when you’re not asked.

Be there when you are.

And if you can’t…try harder.

Should you choose the right road, and it IS a choice, you’ll end up¬†smack-dab in the middle of the intersection of Love Lane and Respect Avenue.

¬†HAPPY‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•MOTHER’S‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•‚ô•DAY

Mom and Bertha

I love you