Challenges – 50 Shades of Gray Hair

Should We Stay or Should We Go🎶🎶🎶

Okay. So, I know it’s been a day or two since my last post 😉 and I wasn’t actually planning a post today ‘cuz it’s crazy busy for us right now, but…who the hell could resist?

Not I.

You all know how much I like a good ‘saga’ 😂 😭 😓

Especially about cars. Or moving. Or houses. Or other Shit-N-Stuff.

Right?

So…after all the blood, sweat, and tears, we shed before, during, and after, moving into our current home, we are considering selling.

Yup…2 years, 6 months in, picking up and moving again is actually being considered.

Nutz! 😵 Looney! 😱 Coocoo for Cocoa Puffs! 🐒

Why?

Two reasons really.

The first, to be closer to my recently transplanted Mom, who is, apparently, one of those lucky people I’ve heard about when it comes to adventures in moving. Her pack and move went smoothly. Her house behaved when she moved in and didn’t reach out and break her leg or rain down through her light fixtures from the floor above.

She has made a beautiful home for herself…and is quite content to remain where she is. But, we are finding that even a mere 20 minute/10 mile distance, is 15 minutes too far!

{Hmmm, note to self…A Drive Too Far…Book? Movie? Copyright infringement? Carry on self…}

The second, as important as the first, is because our beautiful Ms. Sadie needs a place to safely run and play in her own backyard, and we cannot give that to her.

Why?

Because we cannot fence it in 😲

Why?

Bureaucratic Bullshit 🚧

We have a gorgeous back yard…

Northfield in the fall

What…don’t believe that’s mine?

What—everrrrrrrrrrrr 👀

Forget the mountains then.

Oh for Pete’s sake…take out the barn if it bothers ya!

Okay Okay (ya picky bitches), take out the fence, the trees, the other barn, and the rolling field in the background and you’ve got my yard.

Happy?

Anyhoo….because Virginia’s disclosure laws are a j o k e, not one of the half dozen professionals involved in buying real estate, not to mention the previous owner, felt it necessary to inform us that this lot is one of the highest impacted lots in the neighborhood, rendering our little slice of Eden…all but USELESS.

Why?

There is a 60′ (yes, that is SIXTY) gas company easement from the back of the property towards the house and runs the entire width of the tad over a 1/3 acre lot. From our way of thinking, that should have been mentioned by SOMEONE in the 2 month buying/closing process yeah?

Yeah……….No!

Add to that 60′ another 20′ for the build line which runs from the structure towards the back of the yard, making the total depth/width of what we cannot add to, plant on, or change in a way that would impede….a whopping 80′.

EIGHTY #$#$%#$ FEET 😖 😭 😕

Even though the gas company could work with us on a fee based waiver, they won’t.

But Wait! There’s More (oh goody)

There are also easements from the county that cannot be waivered.

One is a 16′ drainage easement, running back to front, the entire length of the property, but it’s on the side property line, so we didn’t give that one much thought. At the time. Not until we had to. And we had to when we wanted to put a storage shed out there. On the side. Away from the gas easement. Ya know, close to the garage and stuff.

Ummmm….Not gonna happen 🚫

Then {and I chuckle here} there is that all too common, everybody else must have one…FLOOD DAM FAULT LINE! OR FAULT DAM FLOOD LINE! OR DAM FLOOD FAULT LINE! OR SOME DAMNED LINE GOING DIAGONALLY THROUGH THE ENTIRE BACK YARD!!

You got one, right? And you? And you, and you? And you over there? Everybody? ‘Cause I’m thinking it’s so damned prolific as to be down right common-place. Like we all got grass so why point out the grass? Ain’t that why I’ve never heard of this effin’ thing? Ain’t it?

What the hell is happening????????????? 😱

The only friggin floods that I have ever heard of around here….were inside my damned house and that fault line didn’t help one daggone bit!! (el squat-o)

Did I say this made me chuckle?

I lied 😫

Of course, we wouldn’t do it if we didn’t think we’d get a decent enough return to buy another. The market is good right now, the rates are still low, people may be looking to get into a place before the next school year….all good things right?

So I ask you…

🎶 Should we stay or should we go 🎶

(sorry, I can’t help singing it…lol)

Oh geez…after all that, I forgot to mention why I even began this post. While we muse over the possibility of listing (we’re about 98% there to be honest), we figured we’d do what we always do in this situation…invest more blood, sweat, and tears, not to mention 💰, into getting our imperfect 🏠 perfect so the next 👸 of the newly perfected 🏰 won’t have to lift a friggin’ finger or spend an effn’ dime!

‘Cause that’s how we role…we Hernandezeseses (Hernadezi?)

We buy, we fix, we do……..and we move. So we can then…buy old and broken, fix to new and pretty, sell to others who don’t have to do a damned thing…just so we can buy old and broken, fix to new and pretty….blah de blah de blah!

In that vein…
We have had the fireplace that hasn’t worked since the day after we moved in, fixed.
We had the Jacuzzi tub’s leaky-ass faucets that we haven’t touched since the first time we went to use it and didn’t because it leaked, repaired.
We’re giving our wood floors a facelift so they don’t offend the next matriarch with their little Sadie scratches.
We’re resurfacing our pinkish, post-form, laminate countertops that somehow were good enough for me, but certainly will put off today’s savvy buyers looking for the trendier granite because ‘It’s so shiiiiny’.

And I’ve saved the best for last…

and the hardest for me…

the die-hard DIY’er:

Hiring someone to do what I do, and do well is tough. But time, old shoulders, bad, up close & personal, eyesight, added to my increased lack o’ patience, has dictated that this time around…we must bite the proverbial and hire a pro.

You all know me and my history with hiring professionals.

Though you know I pride myself in doing my due diligence, you also know it has gotten my leg broken, my house flooded, my toothbrush packed with the toilet brush, and my car dying at 70 MPH on Interstate 91 in New Haven.

Shall we agree that you know this Wonder Woman of Wacky Workmen?

Okay then…we’re off.

We hired a ‘Pro” to paint the interior of our 4BR, 3BA home, top to bottom, head to toe, and everything in between. The references were stellar. The estimate reasonable. The time frame – 7 days. Perfect.

That should have been my first clue!

When. Will. I. Learn?

Nothing is perfect, nor apparently, what it seems!

I’m getting ahead of myself…let’s see. To be pro-active, we removed all wall décor, switch plates, outlet covers, electronics, all items in/on/around furniture, packed everything in boxes, moved all furniture to middle of rooms to be covered, placed all non-necessary furnishings, boxes, small items, etc., in the garage, took up all rugs, and basically had the house ‘paint-ready’ for the start date. Oh, and we moved into my mother’s to give them free reign to only have to cover stuff once and not worry about finishing one room at a time. The house was theirs. They had to do nothing but cover, patch, sand, and paint.

Two painters began on Monday the 6th. The owner’s son who is taking over the business, and his side kick with 25 years under his belt, cut-in and first coat, guy.

Come Saturday, the 11th, one was left and the other one gone. I fired the side-kick for lack of production and sloppy work. His smoke breaks alone used half his hours and all of his work needed to be re-done.

He blamed the paint. I blamed the painter. I win.

Boom! You’re outta here!

I was told he would be replaced with a more professional side kick, but as of today, the 17th, there is still but one.

Mr Painter Man

Who I call IMA

IMA fix it – IMA gonna do it – IMA be here late tomorra – IMA sorry – IMA IMA IMA

By end of business today, there will have been a total of 11 painting days.

Know what’s done? Hah…stop that laughing. Wanna know?

Upstairs.

This is still my downstairs…11 days later

My living room pile

my kitchen eat in area

my dining room pile

my 2-story foyer ceiling

Know what else?

There are 3 walls upstairs that need to be redone. But I told IMA to save that for dessert cause I needed his ass downstairs in the kitchen! I’ve got a counter top being redone on MONDAY!!

I even returned the remaining 6 gallons of my accent color, a beautiful Crushed Oregano green, for IMA because he keeps blaming the paint…I changed my design for him!

IMG_20160616_101407_640[1] — **Does this color scare you? It’s on my front door, which I painted, without trouble**

What the hell is wrong with me??? IMA STUPID!

Know what I’m doing right now?

😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 etc etc etc

Why bother going through all of this some might ask. Especially when my house always looks good whether trendy or not. Always up to date, clean, and comfy. Homey!

Because Lord knows, today’s modern and discerning buyer would no doubt, walk into a home with red in the kitchen and yellow in the living room; green in the bathroom and a cloud painted blue sky ceiling in the bonus room, would run screaming into the street for the horror!

None of which I put on the walls but was perfectly fine with it until the day I decided to change it.

Boy oh Boy…we can’t expect someone else to think that way now can we?

Or so the real estate professionals tell me. After all, this is only the 6th house we will have sold, so how would I know anything about what sells and what doesn’t?

So…next week, it’ll be Mr. Painter-man who best have my kitchen done by tomorrow (or else ) and the counter-top crew. That, should be an interesting day 😂

🎶 🎶 We Should’a Stayed and Let Him Go 🎶 🎶

Mommy Dearest

I’ll go out on a limb here and say for most of us, being a parent is, quite literally, the hardest job we’ve ever had or ever will. And, at the same time, it’s the richest, most fulfilling, most rewarding contribution to our own lives and always will be. alex

One of the most surprising aspects of parenthood’s lifelong journey is finding out that one split second is all it takes for you to come to know the best and worst of being a parent…the span of that second is the distance between loving another being so much it hurts, to wishing you’d gotten a dog instead! True dat 🙂

angry_baby11

But in looking at this most difficult / most rewarding dichotomy, it’s not so hard to understand when you consider first, our tendency to place the highest value on that which was hardest won, and second, our amazing capacity for forgiveness (as parents at least).

But what is it that takes parents to the depths of the difficult to the heights of reward when it comes to loving our children? How do we survive the splintering of our brains in a thousand directions trying to figure them out, yet tarnishes the love in our hearts never?

I don’t question the reward; I think it’s obvious. I do, however, ponder the difficult. Is it because we love too much? Is it that even possible?

I don’t believe so…

However, could it be that we love too much for too long? Is that it? Does parental love need to be doled out in stages or degrees? Or fit into categories in order to not overload these little overlords once they come into their own?

So what (you ask) are these stages/degrees/categories you ask?

I’m a little cuss who can’t (and don’t want to) function without you so love me, love me more, love me most!

I’m a teenager so love me lots, and with patience, but for God’s sake, don’t let my friends see it!

I’m a young adult now so love me from a distance, but not too far ’cause I may need the car!

I’ve met someone and we’re going to get married. Can ya help, can ya pay, can we have it there? (ps Mom and Dad…you’re gonna love him/her!)

I’m going to have a baby so love me, love me most, and love me now ’cause we’re going to need babysitters! (ps Mom and Dad…you’re gonna love it!)

Mom? Dad? I’ve never felt this way before…I love this kid so much my heart hurts!
(ps honey…we know!)

And so on…..

The short answer to the too much / too long question is…yes, okay, maybe, a little bit. But we parents come to this conclusion naturally I think. We instinctively know (or learn soon enough if our instincts are not as honed as they will be), which stage or category we’re dealing with or which degree of parental love to douse them with, simply by living it. Organic knowledge. We just have to choose to go with it.

Does that stop us from loving the same soul-deep way we did when they were newborn?

No. Perhaps it does in theirs though. For a time.

I know that they love us the same way we do them…in the beginning. Outside of themselves, we are their world. Their universe. Their moon and their stars, and they are ours.

Parents and kids grow up together. That’s a given. No matter if you’re 18 or 45 when you have your children, you have to grow up with them to be able to give and receive all that these little selves need, and later, need to share.

We may grow up more with our first. Then again, it may just be that we grow up differently with the next one or two or three.

But…if we’ve played our hands well, we are love. All of it. Every stage, every degree, every category is of the love, by the love, for the love. And they are right there with us.

Completely (in the beginning)

Mostly (in the middle)

Until (still in the middle but getting further towards the…the…well shit…not the end, but you know what I mean right?)

Until…they find out there are more people to love and to be loved by; more stars to shine the light of love on their heads and in their hearts; more room in their world for other loves.

As it has always been. As it was with our own parents to be sure. Just another way of experiencing the circle of life.

Consider…

Our children are loved as only a child can be loved and they in turn, love as only a child can love. The universe is secure.

As time goes on, they thrive and grow in that forever, universe-spanning, parental love and love them right back. But as they continue to grow, they s l o w l y recognize that their world is expanding to include the many, many different kinds of love; each addition a glimmering star to their universe thus far.

But their recognition is as single-minded as their love for us was in the beginning. When they venture out from underneath the love-cloaked expanse of their parental universe, they don’t at once realize that their hearts are big enough to add new loves without setting aside old ones.

Our time will come again (usually around the time the grand-kids show up!), but as parents, it’s only natural that we do feel the initial loss of that connection when our love is no longer the moon and the stars in our child’s heart.

BUT…

Facing this fact head-on is hard, but absolutely necessary.

For our own well-being as well as theirs.

If we don’t, we run the risk of pushing them further out into the expanse by clinging too close, depending too much on their always being there, pining away for their childhood days when they aren’t there, regretting what we didn’t do, or forgetting what we did. Even romanticizing the harder times and not counting our blessings.

We all can probably think of a parent in our experience who has done, or does, this. Think back to the last time you witnessed a parent who cannot let go and re-live what you felt. It’s a very uncomfortable feeling.

I’m certainly not completely innocent of it still. I sometimes catch myself feeling guilty for not being ‘that mother’. The one who always can, always will, never says no, never says can’t. Who wouldn’t want to be considered ‘the perfect mom’? But that’s not perfection. It’s limiting to both your life and those of your children.

However, even knowing I am not (and never could be) that mother…(nor is their Dad ‘that guy’) it nevertheless hurts (and in the dark of night, makes me wonder if they’ll still love me enough to ask again- I know, just silly ) to know that we are the ones disappointing our children.

But we get over it because we know we are good parents who have raised good people. We all deal with disappointments in our relationships. We have difficult conversations followed by deafening silences. But we’ve loved each other long enough and well enough to know what’s really important.

So there is hope. Once we’ve matured enough in our parenthood to realize this fact of life, we can recapture that sense of oneness, specialness, absolute love not felt anywhere but in your parents’ heart of hearts. It is, after all, our hearts that need to make preparations for the day when our children learn there is a love flow-chart. This will fluctuate during their life spans, but it will always show a solid heart-red line for us. Mom and Dad. Steady as she goes. What more could we hope for?

And an added benefit to this stage of parental maturity is…we can (and hopefully do) look back at our own parents with a new appreciation for all they’ve done, all they’ve been through, and all we’ve learned from them without even knowing it. Score!

Cheers and happy parenting (and I mean that!)

Dearest Mommy

Dedicated to my Mother and Father and to my Sons
I’m proud to be one of your stars

Is there a Q in Creation?

Hello Hello!

And Happy New Year!

It’s been almost 3 months since I last laid fingers on this spot and quite frankly, I’m stumped as to why. It’s not as though nothing has been going on in my life; not like I couldn’t have found something to regale you with. But I didn’t, so there it is. What to do, what to do?

My Quandry

It’s me and not what’s going on in my life, that is the…

queller of quills that once quivered in quickness as they quilted quality quarters in the quest of her quair; chock-full of the queenly and quintessentially queer, the quacky and quaggy and quixotically quaint.

It is me and me alone who can say…

quiescence remains in this quaffer’s quaich. What’s quashing that quorum of quarrels, quibs, and quips that querimoniously queue up in the quar of my gray- matter quag; quit of its quant?

As it is also me, the once…

quartermaster, now turned querulous quester, who is lost in quassation. A quat, a quidam, a word-quean, bereft of her quean-dom; whose quiritation quickens toward quotidian.

Quit?

Qualify?

Quantify?

Quiver?

Quash?

Quell?

Hence the exercise in the little used and under appreciated

A little warm up to get the juices flowing.

Maybe?

Hopefully?

For if this does not work…

I’m off to the Zees

Yikes!

Is there a Z word for HELLA-NO?

[I looked it up]

Z I P

Wish me luck 🙂

I’ve been framed!

This week, Ailsa of Where’s My Backpack fame, gave the theme FRAME for her Travel Theme Photo Challenge.

I like this theme because even interesting or good photos can be elevated to something a bit more special in how they are framed.

Let’s see if I have proven this point somewhat…

Reflections – I could have stuck to just taking photos of the stained glass windows and stone work at Canterbury Cathedral, like most people do. But I thought seeing them in the reflecting font was so much more interesting.

This house is interesting enough on its own to be sure, but I loved seeing it reflected in the puddle in the road. It added just enough to make it ‘more’.

There’s more to windows than just seeing out of them too…when used as mirrors to frame something interesting…it can be quite wonderful.

I can’t say I would always advise looking backwards as a way to move on in life, but in photography…why not?

Man-made structures can be a fun subject matter when you find them framed this way. Makes one wonder if the architects were in cahoots with Mother Nature doesn’t it?

And of course, in grand old cities, there always seem to be the old framed by the new, which of coure, makes for another type of frame job!

There is nothing like catching beautiful creatures of land and air, framed in their natural environments is there?

I especially love when I can catch the moon, in daytime or night, framed softly by something earthbound. Definitely one of my favorite framing jobs!

To say nature is a wonder is an understatement. It’s so much more than that. Ever changing, season in a and season out, always there for any who wish to see. Whether naked or adorned by something man-made; it’s nature’s frame that is the star.

Cheers 🙂

In The Pink

A Photo a Week Challenge: Pretty in Pink

I’ve never been a girly-girl so pink has very little space in my closet. It’s not because I don’t like it. I do. But I never think of myself in pink. My husband says I don’t look good in pink. I disagree because I happen to think everyone looks good in pink. It’s one of those colors that brings out life’s natural blush and who doesn’t look good in blush?

I’ve always made a point of putting my boys in pink. Yup, I was one of those mothers. I wasn’t keen on teaching them that blue is for boys and pink for girls. That there are differences in the sexes sure, but color choice isn’t one of them. And damned if they don’t look great in pink!

Still, pictures of people in pink I do not have. Nary a one. A shame it is too. But one thing I do have is nature in pink. Lots of it. Light, medium, dark – you name it, nature’s got it. So, while I may not be able to show you how gorgeous a couple’a handsome dudes are in pink, and because nature lovers will leave pink all over the page…how about I leave you with a little man-made Pinkishness?

Wow…I’d say London’s Museum of Natural History looks darn good in pink!

One Word Photo Challenge: Winter

426775_3085336863263_911556598_n[1] — Night time cherry tree – Massachusetts

538123_10200540609828605_1316359688_n[1] — Ice flow off the mountain – Vermont

the-last-summer — The final descent – Vermont

King of the Mountain - Alaska — King of the Mountain – Alaska

I guess you could say I love winter and I’m glad it’s almost here

Cheers 🙂

Cee’s Odd Ball Photo Challenge – Week #43

When I saw this on the rocks in a cove somewhere near Rockland Maine, I had a shiver me timbers moment for sure. A couple actually. I mean, WHO was that crawling up the rocks??? I really had to look twice to make sure this thing wasn’t alive!

Too freaky not to shoot right?

dead rope crawling — **Arrrrrrrrrrrg…I’m all in knots!**

A little fun for Cee’s Odd Ball Photo Challenge – Week #43

Cheers 😉

Love Me Tender

A Photo a Week Challenge – Tender Moments

Tender moments come in all kinds of situations, but the first time I captured my first born grandson in his mother’s arms, is a moment I’ll never forget.

No less tender was when our newly rescued Miss Sadie, placed her head on my shoulder. In that one moment, she let me know she trusted me and everything was going to be okay. I loved her for that!

Me…from down under

Is it possible that I’m a dreamer?
Do I spend too much time with my head in the clouds?
Or my nose in the air?
Or my eyes on the sky?

Maybe, just maybe.

Because when I was getting photos together for Ailsa’s Travel Theme Challenge theme BELOW, I realized how much time I spend looking up and how lucky I am I haven’t fallen over and broken my nose!

But then again, perhaps it’s not so much dreaming [though that’s okay] as what I like to think of as paying attention, seeing the whole picture, taking stock in everyday life, seeing beauty in the ordinary…

Right?

Oh alright. I’m a dreamer then and damned proud of it!

So let’s see what a dreamer with her head in the clouds, nose in the air, eyes on the skies, is all dreamy about then.

And if you are a dreamer too…would you see what she sees when the lens go vertical?

The Tate Museum in London from an ant’s perspective:

A Lloyd Wright design as seem from this lowly architecture lover on the ground:

Reflections are just reflections until they become art. Can you see the cranes? Construction never looked so good!:

It would be shameful it no one paid attention to the details of something as innocuous as ceilings…but when they look like this, it would be a crime!:

Bridges are a favorite of mine, and the Tobin in Boston is no exception. This, however, was taken on the fly and yes (shhh) I was driving! Thank goodness for sun roofs 🙂 Oh, and thank you God that I’m still here (dumb, I know):

Street light art? If you’re in London, the answer is a resounding YES!:

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a bird, it’s a ….yup, like that:

It’s a religious experience!:

Clouds are the ultimate source for wonder and awe from below:

Ever the Patriot:

Goodnight Moon:

Cheers everyone up there…from me, down below 🙂

Simplicity isn’t always simple!

This week, I’m trying a new challenge with Cee. This is her Compose Yourself Photo Challenge and the theme this week is Simplicity.

I encourage all my photo buff friends to go here and read her directives as well as her tips and tricks, as you have nothing to lose and tons to gain!

Here goes nothing…per instructions…4 photos of nearly raw and simple

(And as always, simply click on photo for full version. See what I did there? Simple? You got it).

Tree with Hula Skirt :) OR Lake Reflections — **Tree with Hula Skirt 🙂**
OR
**Lake Reflections**

What comes next is for extra credit (sweet)

Cropping before and after and Color vs. Black and White

The crop before and after:

BEFORE * I chose this because I like it, but also because the boat is about 1/3rd of the photo and wanted to see if I could crop it from landscape to portrait and still like it — **BEFORE**
*
**I chose this because I like it, but also because the boat is about 1/3rd (okay, maybe a little more) of the photo and I wanted to see if I could crop it from landscape to portrait and still like it**

AFTER * I find that I may have to redefine what the subject is with the crop version...but I still like it. Rather than the boat, I think my new subject is the light. — **AFTER**
*
**I find that I may have to redefine what the subject is with the crop version…but I still like it. Rather than the boat, I think my new subject is the light through the mist.**

The Color vs Black & White: I still struggle with the tones of black and white, but I do love them. Hopefully, they’ll get better with practice (or an editing software? Santa, you listening?)

COLOR VERSION * This regal fella doesn't have a whole lot of color to begin with, and I hope that is okay, but sometimes the most challenging for me are photos with a lot of white — **COLOR VERSION**
*
**This regal fella doesn’t have a whole lot of color to begin with, and I hope that is okay, but sometimes the most challenging for me are photos with a lot of white**

BLACK & WHITE VERSION * I'm surprising myself, but I actually like this one better. :) — **BLACK & WHITE VERSION**
*
**I’m surprising myself, but I actually like this one better. 🙂**

I may not have gotten the simplicity in every photo I chose, but I think I’m at least on the right road.
Cheers 🙂

Dedicated to my Mother and Father and to my Sons I’m proud to be one of your stars

Dedicated to my Mother and Father and to my Sons
I’m proud to be one of your stars