How to Train Your Weatherman

I walked to the window

Looking for rain

Only to find there was none


So what did I see

Instead, on the ground and the trees

But three inches of white, and then some


It heartens me though

To I know what I know

Which is, the government is not the only



High paying gig

Where none give a fig

If they get it right, they’re just phonies


Weathermen, you see

Could squirt shit when they sneeze

Then turn ’round and call it baloney


So, like with our po-li-ti-cos

That’s just how it goes

They feed us baloney shit sammies


 But next time, I think

When that breeze starts to stink

I’ll send a pic of a dick being slammied!

you would not! would you?

 Today’s forecast:  Squashed Dick, and Tortured Balls
Tonight’s forecast: Periods of Pain and Nausea

Tomorrow’s forecast:  Well now, that depends.  Doesn’t it?

16 thoughts on “How to Train Your Weatherman

  1. I think you have misunderstood basic weather forecasting. The idea is to tell us what the weather was yesterday and maybe what it is now. The final part is actually a weather punt or guess. The best example of crap forecasting was Michael Fish in 1987. He is still lauded for his error and his lack of taste in jackets.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaha…so true and so ridiculous if you really think about it. What a job huh? I googled your Michael Fish, not being a Brit I had to…and I can see why he was known for his ‘taste’ in attire. yikes!


Nice-n-Easy...but tell it like it is

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