Time to Jump

I’ve racked my brain these last couple weeks trying to figure out why the muse has left the park and the carnies have picked up and packed away the games whose prizes used to fill my virtual toy box with fun and imaginative bits and bobs, but are now just cheap trinkets and sad, stuffed critters gathering dust.

Have I gone deaf? Or have the barkers stopped barking, the ringers stopped ringing, the poppers stopped popping?

Why can’t I smell the smokey, the sweet, the salty aromas that used to make my nose smile and my mouth run with meaty ideas and sweet and savory anecdotes?

Has my mind’s eye gone blind to the flash of the Ah Ha light bulbs, the story weaving fabrics of the neon rainbows, or the strange and beautiful oddities on two legs and four, that once teased a tale worth telling?

Yes, these last 6 months (plus the 12 before that if I’m honest) have been some of the weirdest of my life.
And yes, most of that time was spent in The Heartbreak Hotel or The House of Horror or for that matter, The Halls of Magic Mirrors.

While I did share those tales from the crypt, once the telling was done, the park went dark.
The tent spikes pulled, the manure cleaned up, the coming attractions came and went.
And once loaded, the train hit the rails and headed for someone else’s parking lot.

What am I waiting for?

So what’s next?
Do I stand by the side of the tracks like a hobo with my life filled bundle-on-a-stick?
Do I then jump on the next box car that passes by, hoping to find “it” down the line?

Or…do I drop yesterday’s bundle, step over the tracks, and begin a new leg of my journey?

I believe so.

I’ve been standing here waiting for too long now.

Time to scrape what’s left of the elephant shit off my shoes and get moving.

Synchronize: 6.1.2014 at Now O’clock
Starting Point: West of There ~ North of Then
The New Heading: East to Here ~ South to Now
The Destination: Unknown ~ Anywhere ~ Everywhere

Take a walk with me…let’s talk

Walk with me...
Walk with me…

First Step…trading shit-kickers for walking shoes.
Next Step…trading four walls for open space and the keyboard for the camera.
Each Step Thereafter…we’ll see what we see and share what we feel.
I want to know…and I want to hear it.

Snap. Crackle. Pop.

I see it…SNAP
You see it…CRACKLE
We tell it…POP

A word, a sentence, a poem, a memory, a feeling…
No matter how short or how long…
Be it funny, sad, truth, lie, fact, or fiction…
I want to hear about it.

This is the path for now…
The idea is Show and Tell
The questions are…

Do You See What I See?
Do You Feel What I Feel?
Do You Hear What I Hear?

It’s where I’m going and it’s how I’m hoping to re-open the amusement park that once thrived in the ordinary and mundane being anything but.

I look forward to welcoming you along.
And who knows? You may just find a junction of your own.
An inspiration that leads you to hop on a new train, or off the one you’re on.
Anything’s possible on the road to Anywhere.

See you soon and I’ll bring the ordinary…

You bring the extra.

As Promised…The Opening Line

Once upon a time, long ago and far far away, in the beginning of a dark and stormy night, it was love at first sight…then shit REALLY got interesting!

(Okay…as first lines go, a bit tamer than I was feeling when I wrote “Pulling out the 50th Shade…”, but it works all the same)


Here’s a tease

…let’s go to the movies!

“My Left Foot”
Gets an Oscar
My Right Ankle
Gets the shaft?
(Lights that Weep?)
Weapon of Mass De-SUCTION?
Ok…not a movie, but really?
From Hole to Eternity?
Mercury Rising?
Mercury Rising?
I mean, PHEW, thank goodness it was NOT one of those dangerous and banned
incandescent bulbs!

Does the show go on?


Do you want to hear it?

Hope so…if for no other reason than you being able to laugh AT me if not WITH me…

Stay tuned…

Pulling Out the 50th Shade

Famous Opening Lines…We all know them and know too, that when we hear one, there’s bound to be a good story to follow!

Once Upon a Time…

Far, Far, Away…

Long Ago and Far Away…

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night…

In the Beginning…

It Was Love at First Sight…

You get what I mean right?

I know when I hear one, I feel a true sense of anticipation for what’s to follow.

Good storytelling does that for me.

A good story begins at the beginning; that great opening line.

One that gives me that special kind of ‘tingle up my leg’

(stole that from some pseudo-famous liberal’s “tingle heard round the world”)

Anyway…while preparing to re-enter the blogosphere after my short but eventful hiatus from sharing, I needed to capture, in one good opening line, the true sense of what’s to come.

A line to draw you in and make you want to keep going to see what there is to see and feel what there is to feel.

An open to encapsulate the last 374 days, 17 hours, and 49 seconds in a little amuse bouche that, once tasted, will leave you wanting a bigger bite.

None of those listed above will do for me though.  Not this time anyway.

While great, they are lacking that je ne sais quoi I’m hoping for.

So, to that end…I’m pulling out the final shade in my Bag O’ Fifty; the one I didn’t think I’d get to for at least another 5 years minimum, if ever.

The one I call “The 50th Shade – Kiss My Ass and Call Me Fred, What Next?

I know, I know…we are such a huge community of optimists here.

And I love that about us

I do!  🙂

But we all have our limits.  That point where we tell optimism to fuck off!

After we’ve fallen through the hole of the shithouse two-seater, but before we decide whether to wallow in the muck and mire and drown in the sludge, or crawl out and take a damned shower!

Okay…this is me…post-wallow…yet…pre-crawl.

I’m covered in it, sticking with it, red-faced, and blotchy skinned from it…but I ain’t drowned.

I’m one slime-covered maggot with a boil on its ass away from dead, but not dead yet.

I still have one good leg and two good arms with which to push and pull my way out of this crap, and I’m using them now.

(Well, maybe the good leg’s not so useful on the keyboard, but hey, I’m giving it its due)

Stay tuned…my famous opening line is coming…as soon as I think of it.

Then watch out (or at least have an anti-microbial handi-wipe ready)

See ya soon!

In the  meantime….