Optimism – 50 Shades of Gray Hair

My Shit Bucket’s Empty

Today’s post…despite the title…is about inspiration. I know right? The title is kind of misleading but…

A friend told me today that she missed my ‘more-often’ posts.

Yeah, well, me too!

I’d been so busy scooping poop these last few months, I hadn’t realized they only thing inspiring me to write was shit!

So, her comment was timely in that I’d just read two blog posts talking about seeing the big picture, keeping your eyes on the prize, concentrating on the good, listening to your heart’s softly whispered ‘it’s all going to be ok’ when you’re mired in the daily shit that could otherwise keep your psyche locked in the outhouse.

To count your blessings instead of lamenting your woes and understand that life is bigger than the last busted bone or paddleless trek up shitcreek. All true, though as we all know, it’s not easy.

More than possible, but not easy.

Now, I’m not one to call myself particularly optimistic (I have my reasons), I do engage in this battle daily…trying to see the bright side, seeking out the silver lining or at least trying to find the humor in all things, counting my blessings, stomping on the sneaky devil ankle-biters that are always trying to knock me on my ass and piss me off. And while the war is ongoing…the battles are getting easier. My reaction muscles are learning new tricks (and I’ve taken to wearing armored high-top boots!)

But to get back to it…when Jules made that comment today, it did get me wondering why, with my new-found pseudo-optimistic outlook, I haven’t been inspired to post something light or happy or springy.

That’s easy…and sad…

It’s pretty obvious I’d gotten into a routine of slinging the contents of those overfloweth buckets of poo I’d been collecting during those last few shit storms. Namely…

“Areyajokin, Bulleffincrap, and Canyashootmenow”

For now though, it looks like storm season is over and it’s time to dump the shit where it’ll do some good. Nothing so wrong in my new garden that a few buckets of good old-fashioned manure won’t fix.

So, time to get to emptying them and refilling them with something that smells a bit better, tastes divine, and looks a lot like happiness.

Never mind that it’s sleeting and snowing…my backyard’s full of flying flirts, the bulbs are busting and bearing up, the seedlings are starving, and I’ve got just the shit for them.

**Welcome Spring…it’s time for you to eat!**

And for you…at the top of my Things I’m Thankful For list…

**I’m Happy because…**
**This is NOT my derrière**
**Though after the last few months…it could have been**

But seriously…

Here’s to looking up, looking within, and looking out…to find your inspiration

Today

Last night saw the end of the longest running nightmare of our married life.
The move to Virginia
(a.k.a. As the Shade Spins)
(aa.k.a. Two Thugs and a Truck)
(aaa.k.a. The Snap Heard ‘Round the Block)
(aaaa.k.a. Row, Row, Row, Your Washing Machine)

Moving on (yikes, that phrase alone gives me heartburn)…

At 7:00pm we waved goodbye, with heartfelt thanks, to the crew that installed our new floors. Adios and gracias if you know what I mean.

By 9:30pm we’d placed the last piece of furniture, made-up the last bed, plugged-in and set the alarm clock, and hopped (the mattress sits about boob high on me. HE hops…I use a stool) into our bed with sighs (grunts) of exhausted relief.

To say the day went off without a hitch would be completely out of character for me, so in keeping with keeping it real…I suppose I must share that too…

I’m usually the one in charge in all things ‘house’. But due to my slight limitation in mobility, I reluctantly gave up control and took my place as the minion this one time, physically anyway. (For some reason my mouth just can’t give up being the boss!)

Anyway…I was placed inside the frame of the bed, to help place the box spring. But, as my hands were catching the box, my eyes spied the very obvious fact that the bed was NOT in the right place. Why weight it down with box and mattress when we could easily move it first?

So naturally, I dropped the box spring where I stood (I may have spouted something here, but I take the 5th) and turned to exit the interior of the bed frame so I could move the bed to where it belonged.

In doing so, I didn’t quite clear the hurdle that was the side rail…tripped…and landed flat on my face (and boobs and belly and though I didn’t realize it at the time, my left wrist.)

(Did you know that OOF is a real sound? IT IS!)

Anyway, I gave a shout out to the Big Guy upstairs, thanking him for yet another reminder of my bad temper, cradled my wrist, and left the other big guy to finish. Turns out, the tendons on top of my left hand took the brunt, are strained, and yell at me when ever I lift my hand…but other than that, the other bruises will heal.

Considering my history, I’d say this was one of my better days. 🙂

I climbed the mountain that is my bed, and sat up for a while, thinking about the last 10 weeks {‘how the hell did we get through this without killing each other?’ was my predominant thought} realizing that it was going to be the first night since moving in, that I didn’t dread the following morning.

The nightmare was over.

That light at the end of the tunnel that everyone talks about is there.

I can see it.

Today is the first day for the rest of our lives.

Today is a day for emptying boxes, hanging pictures, filling bookcases, marinating steak to put on the grill…

Today is a day for doing NONE of those things because my hand is screaming.

Today is a day for waiting for tomorrow to try again.

Today is a day for blaming no one but myself for things going wrong.

Today is a day for eating humble pie with my grilled steak.

Today is also a day for giving thanks that we’ve made it through the nightmare still optimistic about tomorrow, regardless of what happened 10 weeks or 10 minutes ago.

Today…Is a Good Day!

It is also a day for meeting our new neighbors…they just moved in…next door…a cute couple…and she, like me, seems to be in charge of the house.

I wish them well.

I offer NO advice yet will keep my garden open to them.

Welcome new neighbors…when you get settled, stop by and we’ll sit and chew the suet and reminisce about Moving Day!

Me Too? Yeah, Why Not

Sigh.

Big sigh.

Bigger sigh.

It’s BEEN a coupla days ya know?

If I had my camera, I think I’d know where to go from here.

But…as it happens, I don’t.

Also as it happens…I won’t.

Not for a while anyway.

So…where does one, such as me, go from here?

Hmmmm

A side trip I think.

A dirt road not yet traveled or a path traveled once that needs revisiting?

I’ve been digging through my photos looking for something…some kind of inspiration.

Imagine the white rabbit in Alice and Wonderland…

I’m late I’m late for a very important date.”

And no, I don’t have a date, but the FEELING is there…of being late, missing something, needing to hurry to catch up,

Ok…so, I know I’m not going to catch up, hence the sigh.

But I am going to just jump onto the path and see where it leads.

**The Natural History Museum at night –** **London**

Why here?

Why these photos?

Imagine the joy of coming out of the dark, which frightens To see and hear the carousel, the enduring symbol of youth and happiness — **Imagine the joy of coming out of the dark, which frightens –** **To see and hear the carousel, the enduring symbol of youth and happiness**

I don’t know for sure.

All I know is this:

it’s as light as it is dark
- me too
for every dark and shadowed corner, there’s a central hall, a heart, full of light
- me too
it holds the secrets of the past as gently and reverently as it exudes the hopes of the future
- me too
it reeks of the old and stale as much as it shines in the light of progress
- me too
it’s full of things that frighten as much as fascinate
- me too

Like I said, it’s BEEN a coupla days.

But I’m glad I chose to jump on this particular path.

It was a good choice the first time, and like all good things….it still is.

Life’s contradictions

Life seen in contrast

Life lived in flux

Life felt in extremes

Life

Let Mikey try it?

Sure. But…

me too

Cheers!