Author: Rhonda

Hi everyone! Welcome to 50 Shades of Gray Hair. 50 Shades is my blog of life over the hill, where each day is full of delicious opportunities to earn another gray hair. I stopped declaring war on the gray when I began this blog years ago. Instead, I embrace and celebrate them along with whatever life decides to throw my way, with (sarcasm forward) humor and an optimistic eye to the future. I think. I hope? I don't know. At any rate...it's real, it's honest, it's full of 4 letter words, and it's me...on a platter. I sincerely welcome you all to my porch....♥♥Rhonda

One for the Byrds

To everything turn, turn, turn
There is a season turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under Heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything turn, turn, turn
There is a season turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under Heaven

A time to buid up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together

To everything turn, turn, turn
There is a season turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under Heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing

To everything turn, turn, turn
There is a season turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under Heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rain, a time of sow
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late

What day is it?

Outside of January 16th, which is National Nothing Day, which really is a National Day of Something come to think about it…we as a world have celebrated either a National, International, or World day of one thing or another, for over a decade. That is to say, 2013 is when the National Day Of calendar began, but International Days of one thing and another, have been around much, much longer.

Curiosity got me to GTS this morning, and today, April 12th, is celebrating the following:

NATIONAL DAYS

Grilled Cheese

Licorice

Clean Up Your Pantry Day

Only Child Day

For Twelves Day
On National for Twelves Day (4/12), the nation will honor a magnificent number that holds significance in several ways. We measure our days in two 12 hour sets. When we buy roses, eggs, and pastries, we purchase them by the dozen. How many months are in a year? Twelve.

Big Wind Day
1934 – The strongest velocity wind ever recorded on the summit of Mt. Washington in New Hampshire is 231 mph

D.E.A.R. Day (Drop Everything And Read)

Walk on Your Wild Side Day
The day was created in recognition that ‘what will other people think’ stops us from doing what we want to and prevents us from living our best lives. Paying heed to such thoughts shows a lack of courage. We only have one life to live and there is absolutely no reason not to live each day of our lives to its fullest. Our dreams are valid and we should give them a shot. We can change our lives and the world with our crazy ideas and leave behind a lasting legacy. We must encourage each other to not shy away from sharing our seemingly wild thoughts and ideas.

On Walk On Your Wild Side Day, you can also change the life of someone else! By living your life on your own terms, unafraid of the opinions of others, you may inspire someone to also live their life to the fullest. Someone who’s feeling shy or discouraged may need a gentle nudge from you to change their life for the best.

Wear a Star Day
In honor of children that have passed away at a young age, and are now “little stars.”

INTERNATIONAL DAYS:

Human Space Flight AND Yuri’s Night
1961 – The first person to orbit Earth is Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin in Vostok 1

1981 – The STS-1 Columbia mission is the first launch of a Space Shuttle


For Street Children
This day was started to provide a voice for children who live on the street. This was so that their rights cannot be ignored.

WORLD DAYS:

Hampster Day

It’s estimated that hamsters have been around for at least 15 million years, but they weren’t domesticated until the 20th century.

And, something a little different. I didn’t know, did you?

RECIPE OF THE DAY:

Healthy Banana Muffins
4 very ripe bananas (mashed)
1/2 cup organic apple sauce
1/2 cup olive oil, or melted coconut oil
1 tablespoon vanilla
2 cups whole wheat pastry flour (you can use all-purpose flour too)
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 to 1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place muffin liners in your muffin pans.

In a large bowl combine the flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt. Stir to combine. Set aside.

In a smaller bowl, combine your mashed bananas, organic apple sauce, melted coconut oil, vanilla, Stir until all ingredients are combined.

Add your wet ingredients to your dry ingredients. Stir until mixed but do not over mix or muffins will be tough.

Fill muffins 2/3 full and top with chopped walnuts.

Bake for 25 to 30 minutes until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

_________________________________________________________

So, Today is a day for the many and the few. We can celebrate something specific…as above, or we can celebrate the simple fact…we have another day.

Either way, wherever your heart takes you today…get out there and make a difference.

Be Kind – Be Alive – Be Present – Be Yourself – Be the Best You Can Be!

Castles in the Sand

If you were asked what the most difficult relationship you’ve ever had is (or was), would you answer immediately or would you have to think?

Could you pick just one or is there an answer for each brick of the building blocks of your life? Are all things sooo relative that it depends on the day, the hour, the minute, the question is asked?

Doesn’t that, in and of itself, pose another question? Like “Why is this such a complicated question?”

I suppose one could say this isn’t a fair question. All relationships have issues. How can we judge which is the most difficult when they are all so different and, at times, can be that difficult?

I think for me, the answer is simple. Or, simply complicated? I don’t know. I just know this…

…all of our relationships are difficult because the most important relationship is the most difficult.

The one with yourself.

Until you get right with you, straight with you, honest with you, on-board with you, to the heart of you…

…the rest may as well be castles in the sand.

Ever Wonder?

Ever wonder what a day

one single day

would be like

if it were just

Black and White?

No gray

Just black

Or

Just white

Good or Bad

No Okays

Right or Wrong

No Halfways

Yes or No

No Maybes

Always or Never

No Sometimes

Now or Never

No Laters

Sun or Storm

No Overcast

Just Black and White

No gray

Ever wonder if it would be a better life; an easier life?

One might think so

Just imagine…our world with its indeterminable amount of 50/50 questions

answered in just one of two ways

Could that ever work?

Would we want it to?

Ever wonder?

Ask yourself 5…just 5…questions, whose answers at the time, helped shape your life. I am imagining these to be the toughest that we must ask ourselves at every critical juncture as we travel our respective journeys.

Then, think about how your life would (or wouldn’t) be different had you only had the option to answer in black or white.

I chose my 5 questions carefully. I won’t share the questions because we have each traveled our own paths, but what I will say is this…because of the ‘no gray’ constriction, my life would be vastly different.

In fact, my life would be no life at all.

You see, even though I had 5 questions, I only needed the ONE to change my life forever. At the time, if we’d been living in a black or white, yes or no, now or never world, my journey would have ended.

So, if you do ever wonder, you really should ask this ONE question first:

Is it worth it? The anxiety, ambiguity, doubt, pain, confusion, fear…and on and on.

The short answer, YES.

The long answer, YES because it is all temporary. What hurts now may not hurt tomorrow, but if it does, we can fix it. Your fears and doubts can be conquered if you work at it. The best motivators in life are doubt and fear…knowledge is the key to overcoming doubt and action is the key to overcoming fear.

What of the love, family, adventure, learning, teaching, helping, guiding…and on and on.

Have you ever walked behind a gray-haired, old person, limping with their cane, and thought “I don’t ever want that to be me”? Or watched from a distance as a gray-haired and bent old man, leans in and pushes his white-haired and wrinkly old sweetheart in a wheelchair, not noticing that he’s whispering to her as they travel, and thought…”I don’t want to live to be that old”?

If so, think of all you’ll loose in not living long and large enough to not earn that glorious CROWN of GRAY! Think of all the choices you’ve made to extend that life, only to look upon the gray, white, and silver generation with pity and sadness, or to some, even disgust.

I know, when I look at a face like the one of that man in the picture above, that he is someone I want talk to, listen to, laugh with, maybe even cry with. His face speaks to me of life yet to be lived.

His face says to me “I Wonder”!

THAT’S the face I want.

That’s the face I’m working on beneath my ever changing CROWN of black, white, and gray!

And another thing…

I guess today’s the day for reflecting on this new retirement gig ’cause I have another thought to share…though this isn’t really about retirement so much as agin’…know what I mean? 🙂

This past weekend, we had family over for a cookout. I told them to come around 2 or so, and planned a bunch of appetizers for the afternoon, leading into grilling sometime between 5:30 and 6.

I got into the kitchen about 9:30 to prep for the day and realized I had 3 items on the dinner menu I could actually make ahead, that way my afternoon could be spent at leisure with our guests, with only grilling the meat for later.

Cool beans!

However, there was one ingredient missing, that I needed, to put that plan into action. I didn’t want the Mr to have to run to the store for one thing, so I asked him if he’d check with the neighbor.

He wasn’t thrilled because, well, I needed an onion.

“Who the hell asks the neighbor to borrow an onion?”

Well, the short answer is…I do!

I sat on the porch (hey,, I was still in my jammies, so I wasn’t gunna do it!) and watched him go to our closest neighbors.

A couple minutes later, I see him walking to the next neighbor’s house empty handed.

Hmmm

I heard his knock on their door, then a minute later, I see him walking up the drive empty handed.

Hmmm Hmmm

Before I could even ask if they didn’t have any or if they weren’t home…my mind went immediately to this:

Do a blog on the list of items you never ask to borrow from a neighbor in a retirement community!

Funny thing is, we don’t live in a retirement community, but I think the Mr and I are one of two couples in the entire neighborhood under the age of 70, and most are 80s and beyond!

Didn’t plan it, just happened to be the only place we could find a house with a first floor owner’s suite for my in-laws.

So…this list and the reasons why NOT to ask, began forming in my head!

(Not sure why all the responses I heard in my head were southern, hillfolk-y… but hey, it’s my head and that what I heered!)

  • Onions – (Heartburn)

Hunny, if I ete an onion at my age, I’d taste it ’til I done dropped dade!

  • Sugar – (Diabetes)

Darlin’, we ain’t had sugar in this house fer nigh on a decade. Not since Ralph here got the di-a-beet-is.

  • Salt – (High Blood Pressure)

Oh Lordy Sugar, we got the blood pressure so bad, jes’ lookin’ at salt would keel us.

Bread – (Gluten Free)

Well you picked the right day to come by little lady…Ma just took a loaf outta t’oven! She’s a-makin’ that new fangled bread call glued-on free. Tain’t bad iff’n you toast it and have yer own teeth!

  • Eggs – (Cholesterol)

Oh goodness Chil’…with OUR co-less-trul? Shoot…if’n that don’t keel ya, the price of ’em sure as shootin’ would!

  • Butter – (Clogged Arteries)

Girl…ain’t you heered? Dont-cha-no that stuff’ll clog yer ar’trees faster than a mud pie? Here…take this-a-here. It ain’t half bad and wun’t keel ya ta boot. They done figured out howta make butter without no dairy init.

  • Milk – (Lactose Intolerance)

Oh now, let me tell ya, we sure do miss us some good ol’ fashioned, cold milk! An’ Ima serious. Wurs thing ’bout gittin’ up in years is losin’ the bowels. Cain’t abide no dairy no more or it’s goodbye kitchen chair – hello commode! Know what I mean? 

Tell me I’m wrong!

🙂

Re-TIRED!

Ahhhhhh…

The sound of retirement.

Those ‘not yet retired’ believe this, yes?

For us, we anticipated that Ahhhhh feeling when waking everyday to the knowledge that our time was now our own.

To do or not to do…that is the question!

Our car sticker won’t say ‘Salt Life’.

It’ll say ‘Ahhhhh Life’.

But wait!

Where’s the Ahhhhh?

Where’s the lazy, hazy, crazy days of sitting around watching games shows and daytime soap operas and eating bon bons and drinking tea in the afternoon and martinis at night?

Instead of this sister chinnin’ the wag and waggin’ the bone, I’m merging and purging, mopping and chopping, dusting and busting my ass all the time.

Instead of the mister sitting with other sisters’ misters, bending ears and lending elbows, or lending ears and bending elbows…he’s bending knees and lending back and groaning in all the wrong places!

We are busier than a one armed paper hangers!

Why?

Come on you old codgers!

Fess up ya Bastids!!

The Truth!

There’s a hierarchy to retirement isn’t there.

You knew all along and never let on, that retirement is more a ‘They’re young, and not doing anything now, ask them to do it’ kind of lifestyle!

Right?

We believe this to be the case.

Being retired in your early 60s, living in (a house) and a neighborhood surrounded by 70s, 80s, 90s…means just one thing!

We are the teenagers!

And we all know what is expected of teenagers.

Ack!!!!

“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.”

– Fred Rogers

Today’s the day

Well, today’s the day I finally sit down and two-stroke this puppy into something more than white space!

That’s the plan at least…

We’ll see after a while if there’s anything here worth clicking on that little blue publish box.

Or if, as happens more and more lately, I delete the noise and walk away wondering why I keep paying for this torture.

Let’s see…

I have officially retired.

Is that worth a share?

Sure, why not.

Yay Me!

I’m a little early but sometimes a gray haired gal has to do what a gray haired gal has to do.

Sad though. Loved the job. Everything about it.

There is a lot of truth to the idea that employees don’t leave bad jobs so much as they leave bad management.

Oh well, a new shade in my 50 shades color-book right?

The hubs retired a couple months ago…

The look on his face when he got his first social security deposit made me laugh

(silently of course…uhhhh huh)

He said he didn’t feel old until then and I said…

“Honey, you think you’re old now? LOL, wait ’til your mother finds out! You’ll never have a free day from then on. Your new role will be her beck-and-callboy.”

Two weeks later he had a job.

28 hours a week of sweet freedom.

Trouble is…his days off have naught to do with R & R and everything to do with B & B

(and not the good kind…we’ll call his mom B)

Zilch

Zippo

Zero

Zeriously!

He’s so much in demand when he’s home…I call him Beck-y.

Oh, did I mention his mom and her husband left Florida and moved in with us?

Ohhhhh…how silly of me. I nearly let another Griswold saga go untold!

Geesh, I am rusty.

Those who know me know one thing; if it involves me and a moving truck…it’s a saga of comedic proportions.

I’ll put that on the back burner for now…let it simmer a bit, then fill you in.

I have to be more mindful these days (which is absolutely part of the comedy) of not only what I say, but oh so much more of how I say it!

B’s a bit, ummmm…

Literal?

Humorless?

Judgy?

I’ll put it this way…if I say this:

“Oy Vey”

She’s over there, peaking around the doorway, saying (to no one in particular):

“Why’d she say that? She’s not Jewish”

Yeah.

She doesn’t ‘get’ me.

AT. ALL.

(not easy when you’re the sarcasm queen o’ de-nile)

Anyway, I’ll give it a good think and see how I can share without starting a new Cuban missile crisis!

We finally got winter here in South Carolina!

Yup

Oh wait….crap. It’s gone.

I swear though, I had to put a sweater on this morning.

Really. I ain’t lying!

It was awful!

To all my northern friends and family I say this…

“Stop yer bitchin!”

Some of us have to endure shorts and tank tops and sunscreen all freaking year!

So, pull those suspender laden ski-pants up over your thermal tees and undies, pick up that shovel, and hit the driveway!

I don’t want to hear it!

Back later…have a lunch date and need to change my flip flops.

Ha!

(and B? I’ll print this out and highlight the areas you’ll want to discuss 😮 )

To All The Bloggers I’ve Know Before…

As I look back on the past couple of years I would tell people I was a blogger…I realize I always said that with a sense of pride and, I may as well say it, a sense of accomplishment.

These days however, whenever the occasion presents itself whereby I could work in “I’m a blogger”, I immediately think to myself “Who are you kidding? You haven’t written a single real word for years!”

Alas, this is true. Unbelievable to me as it is…this is true.

There are as many reasons why as there are why not. Rather than list them, let me just say, I MISS YOU!

The inspiration, the writing, the reading, the connections, the camaraderie. All of it. Equally.

Excuses? Sure, but none you haven’t heard, or perhaps even felt yourselves (as I have noticed I’m not the only one of our circle of many, absent without a clue.

So…I say the following, to my oldest and newest, in the order my old brain brings you to me:

NB, aka trentlewin.wordpress.com…I miss our porch-side chats and promises of scotch and wine, but do not EVER think that means I’m not PROUD as hell of you and follow your every move. I do try to comment on your posts, but WP seems to have an issue with my leaving footprints on your doorstep. From me to you…you are worthy and you are AMAZING!

Mim, aka watingforthekarmatruck.wordpress.com…I see you regularly on FB and can feel the happiness radiate from you whenever the grands are involved. In fact, whenever the family is involved. You have always been a stalwart supporter of those who have touched your life, and just to let you know…you changed mine. Regardless of time, regardless of distance, you are, and always will, be a mensch.

BonBon, aka paperkeeper.wordpress.com…Sister, I need an update on you. I have a sneaky feeling as much has changed for you as it has for me in these last years. I miss your smiling effervescence in the face of all that came your way! You were the Head of the Head Cheerleaders!!!

Paula, aka My Queen, aka, paulaaction.com. I follow you elsewhere and thus know you are as unlucky as you are blessed. As a fellow ‘it’s all shit until it’s not’ human being, I am happy for so many, many things for you…and send my heartfelt love to you for the things that suck. Please take better care of you, my one and only Queen. You are NOT replaceable!! You are also one of the few in my circle that continue to write no matter what! You’re a pro…let’s face it.

Paula, aka, stuffitellmysister.com. My Okie sister, fellow lover of all things simple and beautiful in our eyes. I am amazed daily by your posts of the kids and grandkids. Your life is a reflection of your inner light for sure. So happy for you and Marv!

SFAM, aka Susan Daniels, aka, susandanielseden.wordpress.com. Ahhh, what to say to the sister I’ve never met, but always knew. The pages of my life could use the poetry of your heart. I miss the absolute truth of you and hope dearly you are well. I’m sure, between the kids and the kitties, there’s some catching up to do! Yes?

Jules, aka Julie Goyder, aka, jmgoyder.com. There are no words…zero NEW words anyway, to tell you just how amazing you are! And now you are a GRANDMA! I could not be happier for you, and Ming, and believe your star was set on a path long, long, ago, and you’ll continue to shine forever. Miss you sweet woman…and think of you often.

Yvonne, aka misifusa.wordpress.com, aka, the shiniest light of shining lights. I see and follow you on FB and can say you have exquisite taste in four legged fellows. No matter the circumstance, your light finds its way into my world, just by being you. Thank you for that and bless you always.

Tink, aka crazytraintotinkytown.wordpress.com. Deb, I think of you often. These last couple of years have been hell for so many. It breaks my heart to think of it and know so many I love and care for have been touched in the worst way. Your voice is missed by me. Your heart is forever linked to mine. I sincerely hope you are well and want you to know you are loved.

Audra, aka, myunfetteredbs.wordpress.com or upchuckingwords.wordpress.com. I’ve tried finding you and have failed. You were always the one who knew exactly when to open the window and let me know you were there. I wish I could have done that for you! Miss you my friend. Hope all is well.

Annie, aka animalcouriers.com. What can I say…unconditional love to and from the greatest humanitarians I know. Your barks and purrs and licks on the face brightened many a cloudy day for me. I still follow your travels on another site…and am heartened to know you are going strong and steady. Honored to know you!

There are more of you, Lord knows, who have impacted my life. I have learned some have deleted their blogs, sadly, and others, like me, still have them but seldom write, and it’s assumed, rarely read. It doesn’t matter…you are all in my thoughts, and heart, and prayers. I constantly go back and forth on keeping the blog, deleting the blog, letting it expire. But something keeps me from doing any of that. Perhaps it’s you? Deep in there somewhere, perhaps it is. Then again, I erased myself once before and truthfully, am really reluctant to do that again.

Big Mistake.

Huge.

YUUUGE!

In the meantime, please know I think of you all often, pray for you always, and wish you all the best life has to offer.

Your friend in blogging, your friend in life.

Rhonda

and just like that…

it’s dead right?

we are done with it

it scratched, kicked, bruised, sucker punched, and killed some of us

it manipulated, mutated, trivialized, and traumatized

it had its beginning, its middle, and thankfully, its end

promises made, promises broken

families torn, friendships shredded

a little prick here, a bigger prick there

here a prick, there a prick, everyday a new prick

but

it is dead and we were happy to witness its funereal ball drop

good riddance you filthy annual

history has it now

2 0 2 1

a year that changed the world

2 0 2 2

begin…and good luck

Ok 2022 Bring It On!