Category: Retirement

I guess today’s the day for reflecting on this new retirement gig ’cause I have another thought to share…though this isn’t really about retirement so much as agin’…know what I mean? 🙂

This past weekend, we had family over for a cookout. I told them to come around 2 or so, and planned a bunch of appetizers for the afternoon, leading into grilling sometime between 5:30 and 6.

I got into the kitchen about 9:30 to prep for the day and realized I had 3 items on the dinner menu I could actually make ahead, that way my afternoon could be spent at leisure with our guests, with only grilling the meat for later.

Cool beans!

However, there was one ingredient missing, that I needed, to put that plan into action. I didn’t want the Mr to have to run to the store for one thing, so I asked him if he’d check with the neighbor.

He wasn’t thrilled because, well, I needed an onion.

“Who the hell asks the neighbor to borrow an onion?”

Well, the short answer is…I do!

I sat on the porch (hey,, I was still in my jammies, so I wasn’t gunna do it!) and watched him go to our closest neighbors.

A couple minutes later, I see him walking to the next neighbor’s house empty handed.

Hmmm

I heard his knock on their door, then a minute later, I see him walking up the drive empty handed.

Hmmm Hmmm

Before I could even ask if they didn’t have any or if they weren’t home…my mind went immediately to this:

Do a blog on the list of items you never ask to borrow from a neighbor in a retirement community!

Funny thing is, we don’t live in a retirement community, but I think the Mr and I are one of two couples in the entire neighborhood under the age of 70, and most are 80s and beyond!

Didn’t plan it, just happened to be the only place we could find a house with a first floor owner’s suite for my in-laws.

So…this list and the reasons why NOT to ask, began forming in my head!

(Not sure why all the responses I heard in my head were southern, hillfolk-y… but hey, it’s my head and that what I heered!)

• Onions – (Heartburn)

Hunny, if I ete an onion at my age, I’d taste it ’til I done dropped dade!

• Sugar – (Diabetes)

Darlin’, we ain’t had sugar in this house fer nigh on a decade. Not since Ralph here got the di-a-beet-is.

• Salt – (High Blood Pressure)

Oh Lordy Sugar, we got the blood pressure so bad, jes’ lookin’ at salt would keel us.

Bread – (Gluten Free)

Well you picked the right day to come by little lady…Ma just took a loaf outta t’oven! She’s a-makin’ that new fangled bread call glued-on free. Tain’t bad iff’n you toast it and have yer own teeth!

• Eggs – (Cholesterol)

Oh goodness Chil’…with OUR co-less-trul? Shoot…if’n that don’t keel ya, the price of ’em sure as shootin’ would!

• Butter – (Clogged Arteries)

Girl…ain’t you heered? Dont-cha-no that stuff’ll clog yer ar’trees faster than a mud pie? Here…take this-a-here. It ain’t half bad and wun’t keel ya ta boot. They done figured out howta make butter without no dairy init.

• Milk – (Lactose Intolerance)

Oh now, let me tell ya, we sure do miss us some good ol’ fashioned, cold milk! An’ Ima serious. Wurs thing ’bout gittin’ up in years is losin’ the bowels. Cain’t abide no dairy no more or it’s goodbye kitchen chair – hello commode! Know what I mean? 

Tell me I’m wrong!

🙂