I AM PTSD
A Wife’s Cry
by Lindsay Hernandez
I live in the shadows of minds I overtake
I am with you, every time you wake
You try with therapy, pills, and rest
I will overcome you even when feel your best
I suck the life, joy, and happiness out of your mind
All because I won’t be confined.
I wreak havoc on family and friends,
Just because they want to mend,
The broken heart I do bend.
I make you feel like you’re going mad
Just because you have seen something bad.
You fought for your country proud,
Now all I give you is screams aloud.
I am in your dreams, heart, soul, and eyes
And laugh because so many have cried.
They cry because they hurt inside
For the loved one I destroy.
I make you sick, weak and cry,
All you want to do is try.
To have a quiet day,
With no thoughts of what is at bay.
Just so you know,
I have put you through hell.
The worst day you have seen,
Is not at all what has been
Stored up inside your head.
You will never get rid of me,
For I am PTSD.
I will haunt your dreams and your wake
You will start to shake,
Beg to rid me from your thoughts,
I will be there forever,
I have taught you to never say never.
You kiss the ones who try
And, most the time cry,
To keep you safe and calm
For the storm has started since 2006.
For I dig my claws,
In to all surrounding jaws.
They don’t know what to say,
To make me go away.
From the hell I create every day.
The pain is so tormenting and deep,
All you can do is keep,
Me all to yourself.
For you are a soldier who has been trained well
Once again to live in this hell.
I Am Warrior
A Mother’s Answer
you hide in shadows like the coward you are
coiled and ready to strike and jar
me from those moments I’ve managed to find
precious few minutes of calm in my mind
your aim is true as you grab hold and squeeze
twisting, constricting ’til I’m on my knees
my breath you take, my blood runs cold
then your fangs sink, that’s when they take hold
injecting your poison, this venom so vile
that it renders this warrior unable to smile
or to laugh or to love or to reach for the light
that shines all around him, through the love in his life
But hear me well…that light, love, and faith
are that which will beat you, send you to the gates
of hell where you came from, it’s there you’ll return
to the fire that birthed you, in it you’ll burn
for i am a warrior of the red white and blue
one of millions who are battling you
you’ve gotten fat on the ones you think beaten
but their war’s not over, nor mine, retreating
is not in our credo, our oath is unshaken
we fight for each other ’til each has taken
that final march in the battle to destroy
the silent pestilence invading our joy
standing together, warriors all
families, friends who’ve heeded the call
our mission is clear, you a clear target
our ammo is chambered, and lest you forget
we fight to the death for ourselves and each other
for each of our sisters and all of our brothers
we’ll drag your disease ridden, slimy carcass
into the light, no longer you’ll mark us
in shadows or nightmares, or memories unbidden
this light we will shine until all is unhidden
you can’t survive where there are no shadows
you can’t feast on a mind where truth flows
perhaps not today and maybe not tomorrow
but you will not beat us; bury us in sorrow
we are warriors, an army of light
we’ll see you in hell before we give up our fight
we know your name, we’ve got your number
Fuck You – You’re OUTNUMBERED
14 thoughts on “BATTLE LINES”
I am the mother of a vet from the Iraqi war..I am the daughter of a Holocaust survivor. I hear your pain and your anger and your fear – and above it all the warrior cry. PTSD does not get to claim victory – as you (Rhonda) rightly note. Everybody grab their armor – this is a family fight and it will prevail. oxox, m
That is exactly right! Yes Mim..it is a family fight and we are all in the family. xoxo
Goosebumps. I haven’t suffered what you have, but I know what suffering looks like. Wish I could say this better, Rhonda.x
You’ve had your share, and you’ve said it perfectly…you are fighting your demons too Jules..and YOU are not alone either. I’m always here to help you kick some shadowy ass!!
Incredible, so powerful. I wish I had better words, or words at all, but it seems none are adequate. This is a beautiful arms around those who have sacrificed their own peace for attempting to secure greater peace. A family fight for sure. xo
Thanks Bon xo
Thanks Kat…we’ve not met, but I’ve followed you thru a friend…now I follow on my own. Welcome Back, it’s good to know you are still snarkin’.
Aww.thank you. Amazing empowering stuff on these pages. I am so glad I found you!
Thank you…It’s been a life ya know? 🙂
Very poignant with the threat of war hanging over us all again. As you know my nephew has just completed his basic training so I am choked as I read this post
I’ll add him to my prayers Dallas, and yes, hoping we can stay out of another war. Thinking of you…xo
Bless you Rhonda; he’s only just turned eighteen so despite thinking he’s all grown up he will always be that little boy that used to eat chocolate cup cakes for breakfast
I completely understand that feeling. And if he’s deployed anywhere for any length of time, make sure you send me his apo…i’ll send him some chocolate cup cakes!