Move On Dot Argh

To say I was looking forward to another move, especially after the bone shattering experience with Two Thugs and a Truck, would be a GINORMOUS, BIG OL’, FAT, STRAIGHT-UP, BALD-FACED, FIB-A-ROONIE!

But, it is for the greater good and with that decision made, I put ’em on and pulled ’em up and got to work.  The biggest question at the time was, what to do first.

To preface…We are selling and Mom is selling and we are buying another one to live in, in perfect harmony.  Together.  Two 50 somethings and one 70 something.  A mother, daughter, son-in-law kinda thing.  A husband, wife, mother-in-law kinda thing.  Two peas in a pod and the pea the princess found in her mattress kinda thing.

Anyway, with two houses to sell, that meant two houses to pack and two houses to move. Timing is tricky because no one in their right mind would want to deal with the process of selling and moving both houses at once, much less, find a new one in the meantime.

So, we approached it simply…sell one, then the other and hopefully, by the time the other sold, we’d have found and purchased and closed on the new one.

Here’s how I planned it…(and yes, the Big Guy’s up there laughing His holy ham hocks off ‘cause this chick thinks she’s got things under control)

Sell ours, look at houses, pack my shit, lookie lookie lookie, hire a mover, look some more, move our stuff into storage, look at dumps (it’s inevitable), list Mom’s, look at shit-holes (again, you just can’t help it), close on our sale, keep on looking, move into Mom’s, look at more, find one, offer on new one, go under contract, sell Mom’s, pack Mom’s, hire a mover, close on new one, move our stuff out of storage and into new one, move Mom’s stuff into new one, close on Mom’s sale.  TA DA

Makes sense, right?
Sounds doable, don’t it?
Stick to the plan and all will be well. Right?  [Sounds like those ought to be someone’s famous last words]

Seriously, that is really the only logical way, and the only way I could see it all work, without fear that, at any given point, we’d be living in cars and frequenting the local gas station to pee!

But…this is how it has actually gone down (and yes, yes, you know the drill…I fucked up.)

Sold Ours

Listed Hers – I forgot my own plan so when our house went under contract, the very first thing I did was contact the realtor to get Mom’s house listed ASAP. That day, in fact.  I leap frogged right over packing my stuff, hiring a mover, getting it moved into storage, and ran smack into the ass-end of listing Mom’s house.

Packed Ours

Hired Movers (real ones)

Stored Ours

Closed on Ours

Moved into Hers

Sold – her house SOLD the day after we moved in!  Which means we no longer had the time we thought we did. We were now looking at a maximum of 45 days for EVERYTHING to be done. THREE houses packed up, moved out, and closed on.

Ours, hers, and a new one!

Now we are frantically looking, looking, looking because we have NO time!  {All I can think is ‘Okay people…pick a car.  Three of them, three of us’}

Offer-Contract-Negotiate-Fail
(They wanted to live there until April rent and obligation free. Excuse me while I go change my underwear…I think I pee’d myself laughing)

Offer-Contract-Negotiate-Fail
(The fact he didn’t want to address an HVAC unit tilting at a 30-degree angle may have had something to do with this one’s failure. Really dude?)

Offer-Contract-Withdraw
(Loved the house, a view to die for, but on further consideration, the driveway’s grade was so steep it woulda scared the last tooth outta Tommy ‘Toothless’ Trucker’s head, if he’d had any. So, yeah…NO)

Offer-Contract-Withdraw
(This was a hard one to let go ‘cause it was the perfect property for Little Miss Sadie, whose happiness is so much more important than that of her human companions…so yes, I honestly figured I could cram two houses worth of furniture into this one for her sake…but sanity prevailed and he withdrew the offer siting, and I quote “Sorry, but the wife is bat-shit” Ouch…that hurt (true though it is  🙂  )

Found The One!

Under Contract

Now, at this point, I am

Packing Hers

Have Hired movers

Will Close on New One 12/27

Will Move Ours out of Storage and into New One  12/28

Will Move Hers into New One  12/30

Will Close on Her Old One  1/04

Then…

OMFG…I need a nap. Or wine. Yeah, wine. But it’s only 9 a.m. Shit, I’ll have to settle for a nap. I’ll dream about wine. That’ll work. I’ll be back. I can’t think about this for one more second…cya soon

13 thoughts on “Move On Dot Argh

  1. Moving Mom in with us was the best move I ever made. We simply built a granny flat in the back yard twenty-five years ago and had a live-in gardener, pet-sitter, security guard (Mom’s pretty bad-ass) for twenty years. Now, she’s 92 and a joy to have close by. You’re doing the right thing at the right time so have that glass of wine (maybe two) and look forward to twenty years of getting to know you mum better than you ever have before. BTW, she will get kinda weird later on but just think of her as the child she was eighty years ago.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I love that you shared this Judy…and yes, I agree 100%. This is the right thing at the right time and it’s going to be great. She may not be up to the gardening thing (there’s a lot of it) and she loves our pup so that’s cool…but she wants a cat! lol…we’ll be looking for a cat soon no doubt. And I hope we DO get another 20…would be pretty awesome.

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    • I thank you for the hopes Tink…I do too. Not sure I can face the beginning of another year on the underside of the poo-pile again. But…attitude is everything right? Hope you are doing okay my friend. This will be (or already is) a hard holiday for you and your family. Just know you are in my thoughts and prayers and if you ever need to talk…you know where I am. xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

    • A waltz you say? Well dang, I’m looking forward to that! Been years since I twinkled my toes across a dance floor 😉 And I believe you’re right Annie…interesting I’m sure it’ll be. I would expect nothing less. Thanks my furry friend…may you have a blessed and very merry holiday season. xoxo

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  2. Good Lord, Rhonda! Such a harrowing tale! That rabbit gif at the end of the post seems appropriate for what you’ve been going through! I laughed with you all the way to the end, although this is a new beginning. I think your sense of humor will get you through anything. Good to see you! xo

    Liked by 1 person

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