Hey Claude…how’s tricks?

Time for another Email Funny!  I LOVE my email buddies…:)

For your enjoyment…Claude the Hypnotist!

😆

After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show – Claude the Hypnotist!

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.

“Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time.” said Claude.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket; a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

“I want you to keep your eyes on this watch” said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see.

“It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations” said Claude.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting

“Watch the watch — Watch the watch —-Watch the watch”

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.

The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.

A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.

They were hypnotized.

And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!!

The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact!

SHIT!” said Claude.

It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens’ Center, and Claude was never invited there again.

Oh Lordy!

Oh Lordy!

18 thoughts on “Hey Claude…how’s tricks?

          • Oh yeah, totally fine. Just too much work. It’s a funny existence. 70-hour weeks but then my mind starts to wander and I start to write, and then I look up and don’t really know where I came from, what started that, why I was doing this “work” thing in the first place. I must admit to some confusion, SB. Work is such a mechanical beast (I think you have some idea of the engineering world), and yet I come into work at 3:30 on a Saturday morning and three hours later I’m hacking at a story. But I really don’t know how to accommodate these extremes in any other way. They often overlap while contradicting each other. I think it’s a really interesting topic and a complete mystery. I think I should write about it, no? Maybe I will post first part of the piece I just started on the subject; don’t know if it adequately describes or addresses the morass, but I damn well can’t talk this through with anyone in this great big shithole where I spend too much time, so perhaps I will talk to myself via characters who are not me, don’t ever expect will be part of my life, and who generally don’t make sense. You know, I think the problem here is that I am too comfortable in madness; there are competing pulls that I can’t reconcile, but I don’t mind the elongation that occurs at moments such as these. One word is technical jargon; the next is softly written on behalf of stars. One is lamenting the poor performance of a contractor or the inability to secure a contract; the others are about spooks and symbols of skullduggery. I don’t think I would have it any other way, though I do admit to a certain madness at times like these… Could just be the season (I could tell myself) but I would be lying.

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            • I can see where being ‘between’ can seem a sort of madness…and you’ve only described the two sides…the technical and the writing. I would imagine there is yet another spot you often find yourself in…that being the family and the writing, unless you only write at work? Your mind is a mystical and magical place NB, and if you can find your balance in the middle of all that your world encompasses, there’s no need to lament being comfy in the madness…if things become off kilter though you’ll know which way you must swing to regain your equilibrium…either that or we’ll start reading some chaotic(?) stories? And I’m in agreement about the season is the reason…maybe a catalyst but certainly not the main character. You do get one’s mind working early my friend!! 🙂

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              • That’s a good point SB, but for me family comes before all other things and is on a level where it cannot be compared to mundane activities like working or spinning tales.

                You know I’m a bit mystified by it too, flipping like this between hard math and crazy writing. But hey, it’s fun.

                Sorry about the early sentiments. I’m still at work, of all places, after (of all things) a six-hour meeting. Sheesh. But I rattled a part two to my story, so I am happy.

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                • Oh good, I will have to go read. And I like your priorities my friend and also like to hear you are having fun. It’s what matters, otherwise why do it. Appears my laptop, which was 6 months old 2 days ago, has decided to shit the bed. I don’t understand!!! Third one and I’m done. After the last one, I bought an external hard drive, but of course, didn’t bother using it. I am devastated (relatively) by the loss of my photos but starting over is what I seem to do best, so start over I will. Only I’m thinking the laptop industry has gotten all it’s going to from me. 🙂

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                  • Oh dear. Sorry bout the laptop. I use a Lenovo ThinkPad, it’s brilliant and has never given me a problem. And I never ever store anything on the hard drive, cause I figure it just takes me losing the thing or dropping it out a window to lose everything. This is a work computer but I gotta tell you, they don’t seem made to last more than three years at a time.

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