Do You Have G@S?

KIMG0094

GoT G@S?

Don’t blame me for the question  😆

I was actually headed down a whole ‘nother writting road when I was reminded of something I saw on Fartbook 😳 today that had me digging deeper to find out The rest of the story  🙂

It was about an overly flatulent passenger on a flight from Dubai to Amsterdam on which a passenger let fly 😉 toots that were sooo horrifyingly bad that….well, I’ll let you read some of the more descriptive headlines and you’ll figure it out!

 1. IBTIMES.CO.UK
Fart Attack: Plane makes emergency landing after passenger refuses to stop breaking wind on flight!

2. FINANCIALEXPRESS.COM
Transavia Airlines Emergency Landing: Reason As Explosive As It Is Hilarious!

3. NEWSHUB.CO.NZ
Transavia Airlines Flight Makes Emergency Landing After Passenger’s Farting Sparks Fight!

4. THEREGISTER.CO.UK
Farts Away! Plane Makes Unscheduled Stop After Man Won’t Stop Guffing! (that’s a new one on me!)

5. BOING BOING
Fart Rampage Forces Flight to Make Emergency Landing!

6. NYPOST
Farty Passenger Forces Flight to Make Emergency Landing!

7. King C-Note from HOT917FM.COM
“This flight was no GAS!”

8. INC.COM
How Farts on a Flight Led to a Fight and Alleged Racial Profiling.

9. GULFNEWS.COM
Bad Air Forces Emergency Landing!

10. FLIP.IT
Passenger Drops Farts So Putrid Pilot is Forced to Make Emergency Landing

11. DAILYCALLER.COM
Pilot Makes Emergency Landing Over Passenger Dropping Booty Bombs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t know about you all, but I think we needed a story like this to make the headlines today.

Don’t get me wrong…the stories monopolizing the various media outlets these days are important ones.  And we as a society must pay attention to and get involved in, finding solutions when and where we can.  Especially with regard to the tragedies at our nation’s schools.  Of this there is no question.

But something non-political or racially charged…

Wait…there is one headline that does not fall into this category…and to me, it’s just plain ignorant and self-serving; maybe even hate mongering rhetoric.

Did you notice?  Go back and read #8.

To claim racial profiling?  Really?  Do they think his flatulent emissions were trying to enter their country illegally?

Or perhaps their thinking was that his intolerable tootage was being used as a weapon of mass disgustion!

Whatever the reason behind that headline, it’s Just. Plain. Stupid.

Anyway…I was actually writing a post on another kind of gas when I was reminded of these headlines seen today.

If nothing else, I hope it brings a smile to your face.

Or maybe you’ll chuckle enough to release a little pressure of your own!

Hey, when you’re my age…the relief valve doesn’t always work!!!

Sometimes…it’s an effluent pump run amok!!

😆  Peace and Good Booty Bombs to All  😆

I Was a Toddler-age Tosspot

Yes, I confess.
By the time I was 3, I was hooked on the ol’ brew.
(And, apparently, I passed that on to my eldest. Though, I preferred a bottle)
Observez Vous…

Gee, thanks Mom!

Gee, thanks Mom!

Actually, I was more hooked on Dad…I was his toddlin’ sidekick in mighty whitey tights!  Anything he did, I wanted to do. Anywhere he was, I wanted to be.  Not so unusual for little girls to consider their Dads their first love and first superhero.

Always ready to catch me

Always ready to catch me

Book Two 37 (2)Book Two 75Roy, Grands, Rhonda (2)

 

 

There again too…I guess boys are of the same mind.  Like father like sons?
You betcha!
Good VT Stock

 

 

 

 

oldies 11 - Copy (2) - Copyoldies 11 - Copyoldies 11 - Copy (2)

 

 

 

 


This is how the story goes…

Once upon a time, in a little town far, far away, there was a little girl who lived with her father, mother, and 3 brothers. That’s her below…the twinklin’ toddler in her mighty whities…
rhondaThe budding housewifeMother got to my hair again

Her father was a hard-working man; working 2, sometimes 3 jobs to make ends meet.  And her Mother was not your ‘typical for the times’ housewife either.

Isn't she pretty?

Isn’t she pretty?

Because, busy as she was, having had 4 kids in 5 years, she still held a full-time job outside the home.

But, this was also a time when families lived close together, daycare centers were non-existent, and family was relied upon to pitch in where they could. (Glad it was you, Gram)

Now, seeing as these were hard-working folk, what little free time there was, was catch-up time, family time, friends time. Picnic parties, horseshoes, reunions, celebrations…but all the time, busy!
Picnic at PartlowsBook Four 12Island Pondroy and chickie 35th cake

But…let’s not forget the biggie…working on cars in the yard.

That all-american male’s favorite pastime.  Grease-monkeyin’ in the driveway.
b10Working-Old-Car-onworking-on-car
Am I right?

So anyway, this is how a toddlin’ sidekick to her Daddy’s Superman, gets her tights in a twist…

A typical weekend afternoon, circa 1963…

The boys tinkerin’ in the driveway with the women folk fixin’ victuals and watchin’ babies inside.
A regular tune ‘er up, tink’er up, smoke’em up, drink’em up, Sa’day afternoon.
Rev her up..sounds good!
Close her up…hit the dirt for a test run.
No need for cleanin’up, we’re comin’ right back.

Ya with me?  Good.

To continue…

The boys are gone.
The women are inside with (8 of the usual 9) the kids.
One smarty pants little toddler decided she missed her Daddy and went outside looking for him.
She calls for him.
No answer.
She can’t see him.
But wait…there…in the driveway.
“What’s that?” she wonders in her terrible-three tiny little brain.
“Can it be?” she asks herself
“Why, I think it’s a Daddy bottle and ooooooh, he left it for me!” silently gigglin in delight she was
“I love a good Daddy bottle. It’s so much more yummy than my ucky ol’ boring one.” she hmmphs at the thought.
She looks around.
No one.
She listens keenly for any sound that would suggest Mommy was coming to take her Daddy bottle away.
Nothing.
“Yay” she thinks as she’s already on the move, toddlin’ toward that dark brown delight she knows is filled with liquid gold.
She stretches those short and chubbies just far enough to grab the neck of that father-forgotten treasure, tips it to her lips like the bottle pro she is…and chug-a-lugs.

That was the last thing I remember prior to waking up in the hospital God knows how much time later.

You see, the brew I knew and thought of as Dad’s liquid gold, was what I now call, liquid fire.

As was the custom then…and I’ve seen it again and again in the years since…these man-boys would use beer bottles as containers for gasoline when working on their carburetors. They were always plentiful, usually empty, so why buy a gas can when a beer bottle will do?

Exactly! Logic boys….logic!

The madness that followed can quite easily be imagined…and remember, this was an itsy bitsy town.
I don’t remember much of the ensuing chaos…but have heard the details often.

The boys returned to find my Mother holding me in a panic.
No other vehicle.
No hospital nor ambulance within 8 miles and 13 minutes (rural roads ya know).
And a non-breathing child turning colors no human should be.
Parents and me in the car.
Dad driving hell-bent for leather, Mom holding me.
My head out the window like a dog.
I do remember being told NOT to throw up.
I do remember having zero conscious thoughts at this time.
Arrive at the hospital alive, though I was told I didn’t take a single breath, as well as my Mother being told that it’s a miracle I didn’t vomit, for that would have been the end of my life as I knew it.
I do remember too, waking in a crib-bed with a top (?), like a cage, feeling trapped.
But, when I could, I remember looking out the window and seeing my Memere’s house and it made me feel better.


 Now, all of us that are parents, know this irrefutable fact:

You CANNOT turn you back on a toddler
EVER.
Even for a second.
Because one second is one second TOO LONG!


But…I think we can all agree…it happens.

Shit happens!

beer cap

This Bud’s for Anyone but ME!

Best Beware of Babies dat Wear the Crown of New Year’s Day

Not every diaper clad newborn is all sugar and spice, and everything nice and innocence is their poker face!

You will recall at the end of my Year in Review post, I thumbed my nose at Baby 2015, telling him I was ready for him and to Bring. It. On!

Remember?

DO NOT DO THAT

Since his older brother 14’s demise; having donned the crown and taken the reigns in his chubby little claws, this little peckerwood has let it be known that the contents of his dirty diaper are even more potent than his brothers.

I mean, last year, all his brother managed to accomplish was hooking me up with mover thugs from Hell, break my leg, flood my home, and render Mini Me deaf, dumb, and blind, in heavy traffic traveling 75 mph on Interstate 91.

Maybe more than your average bad luck for one year…then again, I survived.

Right?

Now…little baby butthead ’15 has picked up the gauntlet and raised the stakes.

Oh yeah…this precious bundle of nose-goo, sticky fingers, and stinky britches, has taken his brother’s antics to a whole new level.

[It dawns on me…15’s name is Damien!]

So, Damien decides to Call me on my injured Mini Me and Raise me a dead one.

Yup

Dead – Caput – No-Go-Mini-O

Cause of death – Complete Engine Failure (due to timing chain/tensioner failure)

Odds of Resuscitation – 1 in $8,584

Them’s some pretty shitty odds, wouldn’t you say?

When I asked the service manager if this was a known problem, the answer I got was
“There have been no recalls for your model and model year for this issue”

(Well duh…that’s why BMW is being sued, for the defect and for disallowing the repair under the warranty)

Was I informed that there was, however, a Technical Service Bulletin issued in 2008 about this problem?

Nope

What’s a Technical Service Bulletin (TSB) you ask?
Technical Service Bulletins, or TSBs, are recommended procedures for repairing vehicles. Not to be confused with recalls, a TSB is issued by a vehicle manufacturer when there are several occurrences of an unanticipated problem.

Or that since 2008, up to and including 2014, BMW is still receiving complaints about this vehicle and has yet to issue a recall?

Nope

It was intimated, however, that this was a MAINTENANCE issue and not a mechanical one. In easy speak, that means “This was your fault dummy”

Oh yeah? You think so? Seeing as I have all the regular maintenance receipts, I think not. But that’s not for them and me to fight about

The Warranty Service company is sending an “inspector” there, Monday or Tuesday

That’s the lucky duck that I get to ‘discuss’ this with


If you do read any of the comments in the (short) articles I’ve listed below, you’ll note they are current.

Meaning, 2014
For an issue that arose in 2008
(Unanticipated?  Really?)

For anyone considering a Mini Cooper (new or used), here’s a little light reading.
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/automotive/mini.html
http://www.law360.com/articles/530596/bmw-sued-over-mini-cooper-engine-defect

For anyone considering a BMW – All I would say is Do Your Research!
Not just on the car, but the company’s willingness to stand behind their cars during and after, the warranty period.

As a matter of course, anyone looking to purchase a new/used vehicle, would be well advised to visit the National Highway Transportation Safety Administration’s website.

Here, I’ll give you a couple…
NHTSA.GOV or
Safercar.gov

These sites offer you access to Recall Notices / Complaints / Investigations / Defects

And did you know there was such a thing as an Auto Alliance?
Yeah, made up of 12 Automobile Manufacturers (including BMW) dedicated to, among other things, VEHICLE SAFETY
http://www.autoalliance.org/

They also have a facebook page 🙂
(https://www.facebook.com/autoalliance)

Did I find anything useful or helpful or safety related on the Alliance’s website?
One thing…
Consumer Guide – How to find safety related information (which is what led me to the NHTSA)

I wish I’d been more ‘aware’ before purchasing my vehicle. But we all know what good wishes are.

And…not to sound sexist…or even to suggest that if you have bulging britches instead of bumpy t-shirts, you know any more than I do…but they saw me coming.

So, for you guys, if you’re more nerd than grease monkey…RESEARCH

And gals, if you know a wrench from a socket and can drain an oil pan or change a tire…good on ya!
But if not and you are buying a car on your own…trust me when I say…
DO YOUR DUE DILIGENCE and visit these sites

There really are very few (if any) good guys left in the big bad corporate world anymore
Gone are the days of handshakes and standing by your product or your work

I used to be of the mind, that these types of lawsuits were initiated by sleazy lawyers chasing big pockets on a hope and a prayer that one day they’ll catch the big one
I don’t think that anymore

In fact, I wish there were MORE professionals out there looking after the little guy or gal
Not for a huge payoff, but because it’s the right thing to do and if it puts money in their pockets, good for them

But I know how it works, and I also know it’s not going to change

So the least I can do is put out there, information I wish I’d had (or had been smart enough to look for) before I dropped thousands on a car only to be in the position of putting thousands more into it 2 years later…just to make it run.

Damn it…

Damien?
Just………go……oh never mind

No more wagging fingers and spouting off for me

I’ll leave the little pipsqueak, smelly britches alone

From now on, This Cheese Stands Alone
(what DOES that mean anyway?)