ATTACKED AT 4:00 A.M.

4:00 a.m.
The only light is the cold white glare of the computer screen
The only sound is the wishy washy whir of the washing machine behind me

UNTIL…(dun dun dunnnnn)

4:05 a.m.
The only light is the cold, white glare of the computer screen
The only sounds are the wishy washy whir of the washing machine, no longer behind but beneath me, as my (thankfully) wheeled computer chair shoots backwards, hits the machine, becomes the launch pad from which I launch myself on top of the machine, to make my none-so-quiet, highly unnatural, most un-ladylike, slightly animalistic, noises, after some sort of CREATURE landed on my nose, scaring the ever loving CRAP outta me, thereby causing a coffee-flood all over my computer desk, before I high-tailed it out of the laundry slash computer slash Ms. Sadie’s room, but not before turning on the glaring over-head light, so that I may (when brave enough to return) investigate this attacking, murderous, intruder and…DISPOSE of it!

4:30 a.m. (do not judge me…it took me a minute ok?)
The only lights are the cold, white glare of the computer screen and the 100 watt glare of the over-head florescent
The only sounds are the gurgling of the draining washing machine in front of me and the slightly judgmental, ticklishly child-like snickering (or so I imagined) quips coming out of Ms Sadie’s crate, and the squeaky, decidedly un-stealthlike, flap of my flip flops on the linoleum as I re-entered the war zone, having donned said shoes and my armor of well-worn sweater
To find………to find………to find……….what the hell…..to find……OH, there it is….at the bottom of my (spilled) coffee cup

A FUCKING LADY BUG!

REALLY?

A SCREAMING MEEMEE, CRAZY-ASS, SISSY-WOMAN OVER A LADY BUG?

5:00 a.m.
The only lights are the cold, white glare of the computer screen and the new, strategically placed, table lamp (10 feet away from the computer table)
The only sounds are the gurgles and whirring of the spinning washing machine and the slowly lessening, yet still slightly deafening, beating of my heart, as my flippy flops flap back to the kitchen to make myself a new cup o Joe

Sans Lady Bug

Go back to sleep Sadie (traitor)

Good Morning World

Now…EFF OFF!

Published by

Rhonda

Hi everyone! Welcome to 50 Shades of Gray Hair. 50 Shades is my blog of life over the hill, where each day is full of delicious opportunities to earn another gray hair. I stopped declaring war on the gray when I began this blog years ago. Instead, I embrace and celebrate them along with whatever life decides to throw my way, with (sarcasm forward) humor and an optimistic eye to the future. I think. I hope? I don't know. At any rate...it's real, it's honest, it's full of 4 letter words, and it's me...on a platter. I sincerely welcome you all to my porch....♥♥Rhonda

21 thoughts on “ATTACKED AT 4:00 A.M.”

  3. LOL You’re an inspiration to those of us who feel like we’ve nothing to blog about anymore. Every mountain bike mishap has been described; every walk in the forest has been embellished beyond all credibility, and now you demonstrate that there’s a whole new genre of creative non-fiction horror.

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  6. Ha ha! Loved this, Rhonda!
    “…my armor of well-worn sweater,” as all talented writers such as yourself would be wearing!
    I have a cricket in my bedroom now, haven’t caught it yet… I kind of like its chirping!
    Hope all is well with you and yours, great to read you! xo

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    1. A cricket you say? lol…good luck with that (catching I mean) should you give it a go. They are just as likely to end up down the front of my well-worn sweater as anywhere else! Yikes :0 All’s well my friend, hope for you too. And as always…thanks! xo

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  7. Drat those lady bugs. But what about your beautiful pit? I’d like to read something about you dog. She looks very smart and is so pretty. And lucky you. who can drink coffee. Wish I could. Glad to read a post from you. It’s been a while or is it awhile? Never could get that straight in my head.

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    1. Hahaha, you’re so cute. It’s awhile and yes, it’s been awhile 😉 You’re right, I need to do something for my pup Ms. Sadie. She is truly a gem and has the personality to match her good looks! I shall post something about her soon. xo

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      1. Would you believe that WP has not ‘fixed” itself yet? I can not pull up your comment to either like it or reply to your reply. I was watching the Olympics and read “Fifty Four and One Half whose name is Elyse but maybe you know that. 🙂 Anyway, I wrote on her blog about not being able to respond on my blog to her reply to my comment (yes, I am repetitive here) and after I clicked post comment, I realized I was on the wrong blog. I then had to explain. I am a bit embarrassed but oh well, it also shall pass.

        I will look forward to reading about Ms. Sadie. I watch Pit Bulls and Parolees on Animal Planet on Saturday night and I am a fan of the all the pits.

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        1. Lol…I’m sure Elyse was nonplussed with your kerfuffle. I’ve been gathering some of the better pics of Ms. Sadie, especially her oh so expressive face. I do admit to finding it a challenge to come up with the words lately, but if nothing else, perhaps I’ll just showcase what a beauty she is (inside as well) through photos. 🙂

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  8. Too funny. Been there done that.

    On Feb 15, 2018 5:17 AM, “50 Shades of Gray Hair” wrote:

    > Rhonda posted: “4:00 a.m. The only light is the cold white glare of the > computer screen The only sound is the wishy washy whir of the washing > machine behind me UNTIL…(dun dun dunnnnn) 4:05 a.m. The only light is the > cold, white glare of the computer screen The only s” >

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