This first official post has me feeling like i’m coming back to Junior High after summer break. But instead of that obligatory ‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation’ essay, I’m standing in front of the class reading mine entitled
‘Where Did My Life Go and What the Hell is THAT?’
No longer the pimply-faced teen, sweating the small stuff…I’m now a wrinkly-faced grandmother sweating with the flashes and spending way too much time looking for things I knew I needed at the time, forgot I had, and when I did find them I couldn’t remember why I needed them in the first place.
I’m not really wrinkly-faced, it’s more of a wrinkly feeeeling. (More on that later.) The memory thing is spot on, and so are the questions about where life went and what new and wonderful surprises will pop up, slide down, fall off, or turn colors, each and every morning. Not to mention what happens AFTER I leave the bathroom.
Those first steps of the day can make it or break your leg…if you’re not paying attention. Life’s stairs are steep, you need to open your eyes, clear your head, hang onto the handrail, and take one step at a time. And that isn’t to say you can’t ride the rail once in a while…hop on the banister and whoop your way down…just watch out for the splinters along the way. They are a pain in the ass!
No one said it would be easy, at least no one said it to me. Of course, no one said it would be this hard either, but I realize it’s only as hard as we make it. Which, I believe, is why I’m here…again…
Life can be hard, but never as hard as when you turn inward thinking to shelter and protect, only to wake up and realize you are just adding more and more wrinkles. Those ‘oldest woman on earth’ kind of wrinkles; ‘my wrinkles have wrinkles’ kind of wrinkles; ‘when I stand I sound like an accordion‘ kind of wrinkles. Old. I’m talking feeling old! And I’m too young to feel this old; too young to BE this old.
So, I’m starting by ironing and straightening out some of those internal wrinkles. Getting up and out of my life’s laundry basket (don’t worry, I won’t use that term again! Ever!) and getting to work. And if any of you remember anything about my old blog…you may recall I HATE IRONING! But I’m doing it.
Each day – a new stretch – each stretch – one less wrinkle. And I’m not doing it alone. That’s the key. I’m letting those that love me take one end while I take the other…and together we’ll pull some of those suckers out. And for the one’s that can’t be pulled…I have a turbo charged steam iron…Yeah. It’s called ‘The Future”!
And when the time comes to let the roots show, I’ll be ready.
But for now…it’s Rhonda-Van-Wrinkle time to wake up!